


Missing What You Never Wanted

by aythia



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Imprinting, M/M, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-25
Updated: 2012-06-25
Packaged: 2017-11-08 13:10:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/443535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aythia/pseuds/aythia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mating is a well known phenomenom in the world, but with almost seven billion people in the world not many find their one true mate. And even if you do find your mate, it's not sure that said mate will appreciate being found.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missing What You Never Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this prompt:  
> http://blindfold-spn.livejournal.com/4508.html?thread=6070940
> 
> LiveJournal masterpost can be found here:  
> http://aythia.livejournal.com/179669.html

  


Jensen rubbed his eyelids, trying to rivet his attention on the words on the page in front of him; it was hard to do with the sounds of the busy cafe surrounding him. He would soon be asked to pay for another drink or get the hell out of there, and as much as he would love another cup of coffee, he hadn't really been able to afford the first one. The only reason he was trying to study there at all was that he couldn't return to his rathole of an apartment without the month’s rent, and it was too early in the evening to make any real money yet. 

He opened his eyes and blinked a few times until the words came into focus, scientific formulae and numbers jumping up at him from the page as he tried to cram more information into his already jam-packed brain.

"Hey," a voice sounded beside the table. Jensen reached automatically to gather his things together. 

"Sorry, I'll just..."

"Studying?" the girl asked. Jensen looked up into her curious blue eyes.

"I'm... Yeah," Jensen admitted. "Look, I know I should go, I'm sorry for not..."

He didn't get any further before the girl put down a cup of some foamy drink down in front of him, a small smile on her lips.

"I kinda made someone the wrong drink; you should have it," she said, turning to walk away.

Jensen stared into the cup; it was the kind of drink he always wanted but could never afford. He called out to stop the girl.

"Hey, why are you...doing this?" he asked.

The girl turned around, her blonde curls bouncing around her shoulders as she leaned one hip against the table, her short apron stretching across her hips. Only then did Jensen realize that she was one of the baristas. 

"Look," she said, "the boss will be back soon, and he'll kick you out unless you have a drink in front of you. I made this wrong for a customer and we were gonna throw it out. I don't know much about you, but you come in here a lot, and you always buy the cheapest thing and make it last as long as possible."

Jensen ground his teeth together; he’d really hoped that he wasn’t so obvious about it, but apparently the staff had noticed. 

"I've seen what you've been studying; my brother read the same stuff about a year ago," the girl went on. "Sometimes people need to help each other out. Drink the coffee, stay awhile longer, and good luck with your GED."

"Thanks," Jensen said weakly. He wasn’t used to kindness from strangers where he came from. "What... I don't even know your name."

"It's Julie," the girl said with a smile as she walked back to the counter.

Jensen closed his hands around the cup, letting the warmth seep into his skin before he lifted it to his lips and took a deep swallow. The coffee was rich and full, unlike anything he had tasted since everything had gone belly up in his life. The caffeine kick-started his brain and with a glance at his watch, he decided he could stay for another thirty minutes before he had to get going.

When it was finally time to leave, he gave Julie a small smile and mouthed 'thank you' as he stuffed his second-hand books into a worn messenger bag, heading outside into the cold mist that had draped itself over the city.

~*~

An hour later, Jensen had changed into his 'work uniform,' his spare clothes safely locked away in storage, hidden from sticky fingers and nosy landlords. Jensen left the train station dressed in a threadbare t-shirt and jeans that clung to his legs like a second skin, ripped just enough to be maximally revealing without being indecent, fully aware of the looks he was attracting.

Dusk was falling and Jensen walked a few blocks to what was obviously the wrong part of town; he was shivering by the time he reached his self-designated corner, glad that he wouldn’t have to fight the street girls for it. Groups of them were clustered further down the road, and if they wanted to play at being social, that was all right by him as long as he didn't have to join in.

Jensen stretched himself out, leaning back against the lamppost to make sure he was clearly visible from the street despite the darkness creeping in and the wet mist freezing his skin. Car after car came down the street, some clearly just passing through while others slowed down, inspecting the people showing themselves off on the sidewalks; every now and then, a car stopped and a girl or boy disappeared inside before the car drove off again. The evening dragged on and no one slowed down for Jensen, his spirits falling more and more each time he was ignored.

Finally, a car slowed as it drove past him, and Jensen straightened his posture seductively; after a moment, it sped up again, stopping further down the street to let two girls inside, and Jensen let out a heavy gust of breath. He knew that he was getting too old for the street; at twenty-six, his somewhat feminine beauty had started to harden, and the more mature he looked, the less customers were interested in spending money for his time and his body. That combined with his being the wrong gender for so many of the johns made the long evenings and nights on the street almost unbearable. Jensen wanted nothing more than to go home, but he needed money for rent or he would have no home to return to, and even scraping together change for the storage locker and the occasional black coffee at the café was pushing his limits.

The deep rumble of an engine reached Jensen's ears and he canted his hips out, letting his t-shirt slide up enough to show a sliver of his belly when a big car came down the street; it was the kind that came with a private driver, and Jensen sighed, giving up before he even tried. Then, to his utter surprise, the car slowed down in front of him and by the time it pulled to a full stop, Jensen was already moving, leaning forward in anticipation of the window sliding down to begin the discussion about fees and demands; instead, the rear door was flung open and Jensen froze on the spot. 

"Get in before I change my mind," a deep voice ordered. "You're letting the heat out."

Jensen took a deep breath and slid into the backseat, blinking until his eyes adjusted to the dimness. A man was sprawled out on the plush leather; Jensen's gaze traveled over his long legs, soft-looking fabric stretched over muscular thighs, and further up to his trim physique hidden under a perfectly tailored suit that clashed with the man's long hair, curling where it touched his wide shoulders.

"Are you done?" the man asked, bored. 

"I'm sorry, yes," Jensen said quickly, meeting the man's eyes.

"Then get on your knees."

"What?"

"You _are_ for sale, right?" the man asked, and Jensen nodded. "Good. Then get on your knees and make yourself useful."

"My fee..." Jensen started, but the man just shook his head. 

"Money is irrelevant; I’ll double your usual rate, but I expect you to do as you're told. Now, get on your damn knees."

Jensen eyed the opaque glass panel separating the back of the car from the driver’s side, but he already knew that for double his regular fee, he would do whatever this man asked of him, even if the driver might be watching. He sank to his knees, the carpeted floor soft against his skin through the holes in his jeans, and crawled into the vee of the man's long legs. 

"That's better," the man said, reaching down to pop the button of his pants. "I think the hotel is ten, maybe fifteen minutes away. If you get me off by then, I might bring you to my suite."

With those words, he pushed the fabric aside and pulled his twitching cock out; Jensen reached out to wrap his fingers around the already half-hard flesh before leaning forward and licking a stripe from bottom to the very top, tasting bitter pre-come on his tongue.

"Get to the point already," the man muttered.

Jensen dared to look up into the man’s multi-colored cat eyes, completely devoid of emotion; the man reached down and put one huge hand on the back of Jensen's head, pushing down, and Jensen had no choice but to open his mouth and suck the man’s cock. At first, it was easy for him to get it all in his mouth, but the man grew harder and bigger until there was no way for Jensen to take him all at once; instead, he wrapped his fingers around the base, jerking the man off while he hollowed out his cheeks and sucked hard.

The man’s taste filled his mouth when another dribble of pre-come coated his tongue; Jensen was surprised to find that the man taste better than Jensen was used to, something sweet and indescribable underlining the familiar bitterness. He even felt his own cock twitch with interest, his cheeks burning with humiliation. He did not want to be turned on by this demanding stranger. He pushed the thought aside and focused on the hard cock in his mouth, working his tongue across the underside, pushing against the sensitive spot where crown met shaft; the man made a low, guttural growl as he pushed at the back of Jensen's head, forcing himself deeper down Jensen's throat until Jensen felt like he couldn't breath around the length. 

The car took a tight curve and Jensen's free hand landed on the man’s strong thigh as he attempted to keep himself upright; the man pushed his fingers away with another muttered order.

"Use both hands."

Spreading his legs to keep better balance, Jensen moved his other hand down to cup the man's heavy balls, putting all his hard-earned experience to work to get the man off. He knew they couldn't be far from the hotel and whatever this man was, he _had_ offered double payment. 

"Fuck, yeah," the man groaned when Jensen took as much as he could into his mouth. "You're fucking pretty on your knees like this."

Jensen tried to deny the tendrils of lust that ran through his body at the words, mingling with humiliation and anger; he pushed away every thought that wasn't of doing a good job, earning the money he so desperately needed. He worked his hand firmly around the man's cock until he felt the balls in his other hand draw up tight.

"Goddamn," the man groaned.

Sealing his lips just under the crown, Jensen sucked, hard, his tongue pressing against the sensitive spot; he was rewarded with a rush of bitter come, gathering on his tongue before he swallowed it down, just a few droplets escaping to roll down his chin before he pulled back and looked up at the man, holding his gaze as he licked the come from his lips.

"We're at the hotel," the driver said as the car slowed to a stop.

"Perfect timing," the man said, reaching down to swipe his thumb over Jensen's lower lip. "Step out of the car."

Jensen swallowed down the last remnants of come in his mouth, his throat raw and his words slow in coming.

"My money," he protested.

"You'll get your money when I'm done with you," the man said. "And I'm not done yet. Step outside."

Jensen gritted his teeth but nodded curtly and pushed the door open, stepping out into the cold night air and shivering. His mouth fell open at the huge building in front of him; he had expected a better hotel than the type of pay-by-the-hour places his customers usually brought him to, but he hadn't expected the most exclusive hotel in town. He was suddenly very much aware of his ratty, revealing jeans and skin-tight t-shirt.

"You're off duty for the night, Chad," the man said, still in the backseat.

"Yes, Mr. Padalecki," the driver said.

Padalecki—at least now Jensen had a name to affix to the man who had forced him to his knees—unfolded himself from the car, and Jensen realized just how big he really was as he towered a few inches above Jensen's own six-foot-frame. The man didn't speak when the car drove off, instead slinging an arm around Jensen's shoulders and pulling him close in a clear demonstration of possession.

"My chauffeur will take you back in the morning," Padalecki said. "Until then, your time is mine, and I expect you to do as I tell you if you want the payment I offered."

"Yes...sir." Jensen forced himself to move when the tall man started walking.

Stepping inside the fancy hotel, Jensen felt the patrons’ and employees’ eyes on him; the man at the front desk raised an eyebrow before his professional mask fell back into place and he handed a key card to the man at Jensen's side.

"Welcome back, Mr. Padalecki," the man said. "Your usual suite has been reserved for you and your...guest. The luggage you sent has already been brought up."

The man's tone made it very clear that he was fully aware of what kind of guest Jensen was; Jensen looked down shamefacedly. Despite the profession he had been working for years, he had never felt as cheap as he did in that moment with the man's arm sliding off of his shoulders to spread his hand over Jensen's ass and guide him through the lobby towards the elevators. Padalecki didn't seem to care who saw them, pushing Jensen up against the wall beside the elevator and claiming his mouth for the first time, a demanding kiss that was just this side of painful, and Jensen whimpered his relief when the elevator dinged its arrival. 

"Can't we...wait until we're at the room?" Jensen asked when the man pushed him into the empty elevator.

The people in the lobby were looking, Jensen could feel their eyes on him, but Padalecki didn't seem to care; he just shrugged and slammed Jensen against the wall, and if anyone had contemplated riding up with them, they had apparently thought better of it.

"I'm already paying for your time," Jared said as the doors began to slide shut. "I don't like wasting my money."

Someone in the hall gasped as Padalecki’s mouth covered Jensen’s, swallowing any protests that he might have made; the bruising kisses didn't stop until elevator reached its destination with a low thud and Jensen looked up at the LCD panel to find that they were on the top floor.

Padalecki manhandled him out of the elevator and down the wide corridor to a set of double door, swiping the key card and opening the doors as he pawed at Jensen. He let go abruptly, nearly making Jensen fall as the doors slammed shut behind them.

"The bedroom is through that door," Padalecki said, nodding down a corridor. "I’m going to get a drink, but I expect you to be naked and ready to go by the time I get there."

Jensen was stunned motionless for a moment, merely staring after the man sauntering towards the kitchen area; as the glasses clinked together, the man turned to find Jensen exactly where he had left him.

"Get ready," the man ordered. "There should be lube in the bedside table. You’ve got five minutes."

"Yes sir," Jensen forced out, turning to head down the way the man had indicated.

"I like that ‘sir,’" the man called after him, "but my name is Jared; you'd do well to remember it, since I expect you to be screaming it later."

Jensen nodded and walked away, pulling his t-shirt off before he reached the bedroom door. Looking around, he dropped it on a chair next to the door before he toed out of sneakers and socks and hesitated for a moment; he could hear the man, Jared, moving around back in the main part of the suite. With a deep breath, Jensen forced himself to focus on what was expected of him, peeling out of his tight jeans and throwing them on top of the t-shirt.

He had no doubts about what Jared had meant by 'get ready'; he crossed the floor to a bed that took up the better part of the room; just as Jared had said, there was a sealed tube of lubricant waiting in the bedside table. Jensen got up on the bed; the comforter was velvety soft against his still-cold skin and he shivered when he flipped the lid of the tube open, coating two of his fingers before spreading his legs wide and moving his hand down. The heel of his palm brushed against his half-hard dick and Jensen let his eyes drift shut, trying to not think about why Jared affected him in ways that johns usually didn’t, focusing instead on his own fingers against his hole. 

Jensen made a habit of preparing himself before he started a new night’s work, but that had been hours ago and Jared was his first customer of the night; he felt a deep burn when he pushed two fingers inside, hissing at the sensation of too much filling him but ignoring it in favor of rubbing more lube into himself, sliding his fingers in and out of his body before pulling them free and tracing the rim, trying to relax. He added even more lube and continued to work his fingers inside until he had three of them as deep as he could from the angle he was working at; he was too lost in his preparations to notice Jared’s arrival. 

"Time's up,” Jared said over Jensen’s ragged breathing. “I hope you did a good job, for your sake."

Jensen's eyes flew open to find Jared leaning against the door frame, his body stretched out and a glass of something Jensen assumed was Scotch resting in his palm. Jared pushed away from the wall and walked over to the bed, putting the glass beside the discarded lube on the bedside table. Jensen was frozen in place, his fingers still deep inside of himself.

"Your mouth is so talented I almost feel like using it again," Jared said, shrugging out of his suit jacket and carelessly throwing it to the floor. "But seeing you like this... I think I need to find out if your ass is worth the money I'll be spending. Get on all fours."

Jensen pulled his fingers free with a wet sound, hesitating for a moment at the residual stickiness; it didn't seem to faze Jared when he put his hands down on the comforter and shifted over onto his hands and knees. A big hand came down on Jensen’s back, pushing down until he had to brace himself on his elbows, his ass in the air in what could only be called an invitation.

"That's better," Jared said, pulling his hand away.

Jensen stilled himself, daring a glance to the side as Jared's dress shirt hit the floor beside his jacket and the rest of his clothes followed soon after. The bed dipped slightly when Jared got on it, positioning himself behind Jensen with his hands splayed wide on Jensen's ass, spreading him open and then pushing one long finger inside.

"You're tighter than I thought you would be," Jared said, slightly surprised. "Haven't worked much tonight?"

Jensen shook his head and barely held back a moan when Jared's finger hit his prostate dead on.

"Good,” Jared said as he pulled his finger out. “I don't like paying for sloppy seconds."

There was a ripping sound and Jensen looked over his shoulder; Jared was sliding a condom onto his cock, but he didn't bother adding more lube before he aligned himself and pushed in with one hard thrust that had Jensen clutching at the sheets and gasping for air. He was left no time to gather himself as Jared pulled out and slammed back in, hard, gripping Jensen's hips to hold him still.

"Knew you'd feel good like this, spread wide around my cock." Jared groaned and snapped his hips forward, burying himself deep in Jensen and holding still for a moment. "Doesn't this feel good...uh... I don't know your name, do I?"

Jensen shook his head, not sure he could form words with the whirlwind of emotions coursing through him; every nerve ending in his body was hardwired to the feel of Jared's cock inside him, the thick length holding him open as Jensen tried to get some friction when Jared didn't move.

"Tell me your name, or I won’t move," Jared said with a chuckle.

"Jensen,” he managed, "it's Jensen."

"See, that wasn't so hard," Jared said, moving his hand from Jensen's hip to trace his rim with one finger. "So tell me, Jen, do you like this? My cock filling you up? In your line of work, I'm sure you just love getting dicked."

His brain screamed that no, he _never_ liked it, that he hated the humiliation of it, that it was nothing more than a job; it wasn't who he was, dammit! But just then, Jared swivelled his hips and his cock brushed against Jensen's sensitive inner walls, causing him to jerk against Jared's grip and moan. 

"Tell me," Jared ordered. "I want to hear you _beg_ for it."

The humiliation of the order was worse than being put on his knees with a cock down his throat, worse than men spreading his legs and pushing in, deep and hard, but something inside of Jensen broke to pieces and he was helpless against the stream of words falling from his lips.

"Please, Jared, please, I love it," he moaned, pushing his face into the pillow. "Want it, your cock inside me, I need it. C'mon, fuck me... Please, fuck me."

"Yeah," Jared groaned, slapping his hand hard against Jensen's ass cheek. "Fuck, that's good... You clench around me when I spank you, could come from your ass working me like this."

The hand came down again, the sharp sting working its way to Jensen's cock; he was rock hard, leaking pre-come onto the soft comforter, and he hated how good it felt to have Jared's cock inside him. Even the hard slaps on his ass felt good. 

"Move, dammit, just move already," Jensen gasped when the hand landed on his ass again.

Jared chuckled low, sending vibrations through both their bodies where they were connected, and Jensen felt the big hand slide up his back, tangling in his hair and pulling his head back until his spine was arched and he had to pant for air. 

"Do you want this, whore? Do you want _me_?"

"Yes," Jensen croaked.

It seemed to be all the response Jared needed; his hand slid from Jensen's hair to take a firm grip on his shoulder before he pulled almost all the way out of his ass, holding still for a few long moments and then slamming in hard. Jensen hated the way Jared held him up, leaving him with no way to hide his face in the comforter, no way to silence his moans and curses when Jared hammered into him, each thrust harder than the one before, pushing into him so deep that Jensen thought he might be able to taste it in the back of his throat. Then Jared used his grip on Jensen's shoulder to pull him up and back until Jensen was almost in Jared's lap, his back pressed against Jared's strong chest; Jared put an arm around his waist before he moved under him, pushing up into him over and over. 

"Think you can came from just this?" Jared groaned into Jensen's ear. "You'll have to if you want release, 'cause the only way you're coming is on my cock."

Jensen gasped, his eyes flying open without really seeing the room around him; all his being was focused on the drag of Jared's cock inside him, the fullness and the crackle of pleasure each time the man hit his prostate dead on. He had never came untouched in his life, and with customers, he usually didn’t come at all, but he thought that was about to change if the way Jared's cock was pushing his pleasure higher and higher was anything to go by. 

"Feels so good around me," Jared continued to ramble, and Jensen wondered vaguely how the man could still be forming words when Jensen was so strung out on pleasure that he thought any attempts at speaking would die in pleading moans. "Gonna fuck you until you can barely stand, wanna feel you clench around me when you come."

Jared didn't need to wait long; the words pushed Jensen over the edge and he came with a loud cry, his hands sliding over sweat-slicked skin as he tried to find something to hold onto while he rode out his orgasm. With a hard push, Jensen was knocked forward and was just about to collapse into the pillows when Jared gripped his hips tight, holding him up and fucking him through his orgasm before suddenly going still, buried to the hilt in Jensen's ass; Jensen could feel him coming, the pulsing of his cock inside of him. 

"Well, fuck me," Jared said, sounding surprised. "I'm sure you'll be worth every dollar."

With those words, Jared pulled out, letting go of his hips; Jensen slumped down, his own cooling come making a mess of the comforter, but he didn't care, his body shivering with aftershocks as he slid into sleep.

~*~

Jensen didn't know how much time had passed before he woke up again, but the night sky outside the big windows had gone from dark blue to pitch black, stars camouflaged by the lights of the city sprawling out around the hotel. For a few minutes, Jensen lay still, staring at the skyline and trying to comprehend where he was, but then memories flooded back and when he moved, he felt the telltale ache in his ass, the slickness of lube inside of him, and dried come covering his chest and belly.

"About time you woke up," a voice said behind him. "I'm not paying you to sleep in my bed."

The dried come on his belly pulled at the fine hairs there when Jensen rolled onto his back and saw Jared standing in the doorway with his eyes locked on Jensen and a pair of sweatpants slung low on his hips.

"Um...how long was I asleep?"

"I don't think it was sleep," Jared leered. "I fucked you unconscious."

Jensen felt tension cut away his lingering drowsiness and he sat up, looking back at the man watching him until Jared slid his fingers under the waistline of his pants, sliding them down an inch.

"You need a shower," Jared said. "Get up."

"You're paying me to fuck me," Jensen said. "Not to order me around."

"I plan to fuck you in the shower," Jared said easily, sliding his pants down his legs and letting them pool around his feet. "I expect you in the shower within five minutes or I'll kick you out and you can forget about getting paid at all."

The threat was enough to make Jensen bite back a curse and get up, wincing at the ache in his ass but knowing that it was nothing compared to what he would feel at the end of the night.

~*~

Jensen’s body was on fire, every touch of Jared's fingers on his skin sending pleasure spiraling through his body until he was too far gone to speak, his brain no longer able to string words together into sentences. He was teetering on the edge of orgasm, but each hard thrust inside him was aimed away from his prostate and Jensen couldn't find the last push he needed. His hands scrabbled over the wet tiles, trying to find the leverage to push himself back against Jared to change the angle enough to find release, but Jared pulled out with a low chuckle.

"No no, not ending it that fast," Jared said, tracing his finger around Jensen's rim. 

"Fuck," Jensen groaned. "Stop being such an..."

He bit down on his words, but Jared's hand was already moving up, his hand spanning over Jensen's throat and pressing down.

"Such a what?" Jared asked, suddenly too calm. "Am I or am I not paying for your time, Jensen?"

Anger, defiance, and humiliation burned in Jensen's veins, but he forced himself to nod, Jared’s grip constrict his breathing.

"I'm not paying for your pleasure," Jared pointed out as he slid his finger into Jensen. "I'm paying for my pleasure, and that's all you should be concerned with. Understood?"

Jensen tried to nod again, but all he managed was a little twitch of his head that made him gasp for breath; Jared pushed his finger against Jensen's prostate, causing him to shiver when pleasure rushed through his body, enhanced by the headiness of the lack of oxygen.

"You come if I let you," Jared muttered, pulling his finger out and sliding his cock back in while the water hammered down on their bodies. "And the only reason I'll let you come, is that I love the way your body clamps down around my cock."

With those words, Jared let go of Jensen's throat and as air rushed into Jensen's lungs, an orgasm was torn from him in violent bursts that had him seeing stars.

"Just like that," Jared groaned as he emptied himself into Jensen with a few hard thrusts. "Squirming on my cock, don't even need me to touch you... You’re such a slut for this."

~*~

"I’ll have the car take you back to...wherever it is you want to go," Jared said, hours later, and Jensen blinked his eyes open. "I'm guessing you don't need to go back to that corner."

Jensen winced when he sat up on the floor of the living room, his body covered in sweat, bruises, and come; every part of him ached from the brutal way Jared had used him, bone-deep exhaustion making his eyelids heavy.

"Now?" he mumbled, trying to gather his thoughts.

"I'll call Chad," Jared said with a shrug, standing to stretch. "I would suggest you shower off first; I'm done with you."

Jensen stared at Jared's retreating back as the man moved towards the kitchen area; Jensen had no choice but to limp to the bathroom and step under the stream of hot water, trying to wash the remnants of Jared off of his skin. Leaning against the wall, Jensen felt some of his tension wash away, but he was sore, aching, and he hoped that Jared would keep his promise to pay Jensen extra because there was no way Jensen would be able to take any more customers for the next few days.

When he got out off the shower and picked up his wrinkled clothes from where they had been tossed when he arrived at the suite, Jensen found Jared standing in the doorway for the third time that evening, clad only in his low-slung jeans.

"My...uh..." Jensen started, forcing himself to stand up straight despite his persistent aches. "I want my payment."

He was barely able to restrain the quiver in his voice, but Jared's expression didn't change; he simply looked at Jensen like he was waiting for something.

"It’s..." Jensen started, but he was interrupted by Jared tossing an envelope through the air.

Jensen grabbed it reflexively, uncomprehending, but then he opened it to find considerably more money than he would ever have demanded, even for a night as exhausting as the one he had just been put through.

"This is..." He swallowed thickly.

"The car is waiting," Jared interrupted around a yawn. "We’re done here, Jensen."

"Right," Jensen said, looking back at the cash in his hands. "Thank you, Mr Padalecki."

Jared raised an eyebrow, strolling into the bedroom and unbuttoning his jeans without looked at Jensen; when Jensen exited the room, Jared didn't say anything more, and he didn't turn around to watch Jensen leave.

~*~

It was another week before Jensen realized that something was seriously wrong.

~*~

  


Jared was woken by the sun shining in through the big panorama windows of his bedroom; he cursed under his breath when he realized that he had forgotten to close the mechanical blinds. He sprawled out on the huge bed, staring up at the white ceiling, trying to find his way back into sleep; his fingers drummed tediously against white cotton sheets. He didn't know why he felt so _off_ , but it wasn't the first night that sleep had eluded him; unfortunately, tiredness seemed to make an impact on his daily life, tasks routinely slipping his mind and an ever-present irritation building stronger and stronger under his skin. The sun rose higher and despite the cool air, the rays were warm where they hit his skin and after an hour of shifting around under the sheets, he gave up and got out of bed.

There were still a few hours remaining before he needed to go into the office, so he pulled on a pair basketball shorts and a wifebeater before padding into his home gym, hoping to burn off some of the restless energy thrumming in his veins.

Rather than listen to music, Jared focused on the heavy thumps of his feet against the treadmill, the rhythmic sound working to sooth his nerves more than the workout itself and some of his equilibrium returning. By the time he got into the shower to wash off the sweat, he felt like he might be ready to meet the day.

~*~

By the end of day, all his equilibrium was gone and Jared had lost track of the number of people he had snapped at; the itch was burning through his skin but he could finally put a name to the feeling that had been working itself up in him for a week: longing. The only problem was that he had no idea what he was longing _for_ , which was the reason he found himself at the dark bar of one of his favorite nightclubs.

Jared’s gaze drifted out over the dance floor, taking in sweat-slicked bodies moving together in a rhythm that had nothing to do with the thrum of music and everything to do with need and lust. It was his scene, a place where he was well-known and where he never had problems finding a willing body for the night, or for the next half hour. He knew what he was looking for: a way to scratch the itch, a body desperate enough to spread its legs in the men's restroom. Looking around the room, Jared identified some people who had entertained him before, people he knew wouldn't expect more than he was ready to offer, but none of them lit the familiar spark within him

"Jared," a voice behind him cut over the beat of the music; he turned around to a tall brunette man with an inviting smile on his lips.

"Matt," Jared greeted the man.

Matt was gorgeous, no doubt about that, and he was one of the few people Jared had spent time with more than once.

"Haven't seen you around in a while," Matt said, sipping his shockingly blue drink and licking droplets from his full lips.

"Business trip," Jared said simply.

"Now that you're back, maybe we could...catch up?" Matt suggested, taking a step closer to Jared.

Jared looked over the man’s lean frame enhanced by perfectly-fitted designer clothes and eyes full of promises, but Jared felt no interest rising in him despite the itch under his skin burning stronger than ever. The lack of arousal, of need, made irritation and anger simmer inside him instead and, with an annoyed frown, he took a step away from Matt.

"I don't think so," Jared said dismissively. 

"What?" Matt’s mouth fell open in surprise and Jared wondered if anyone had ever turned him down before. 

"I'm not interested," Jared said with a shrug, moving towards the door.

Matt didn't come after him and Jared hadn't expected him to; they didn't mean enough to each other for something like that, but he had no doubt that Matt would never warm his bed again.

Stepping outside, Jared reached for his phone. Chad promised to be there with the car in no more than fifteen minutes and Jared spent the time watching people mill about outside the club, his gaze drifting over the young, rich, and beautiful people who flitted like butterflies around the entrance. Jared tried to find the feelings within him that he was used to feeling, but instead bile rose in his throat and he turned away in disgust.

"Boss?"

Jared looked up at Chad standing beside the car, his eyebrow raised, and pushed away from the wall he had been leaning against, walking over in a few quick strides. 

"Get me the fuck out of here," he growled, sliding into the passenger seat.

"Of course, Mr. Padalecki," Chad said, getting behind the wheel.

Once the car had pulled away from the club, Jared felt Chad's eyes on him from time to time, but the man didn't say anything and Jared refrained from making angry comments; after years of driving Jared around, as well as acting as his bodyguard in times of need, Chad was more of a friend than just a part of Jared's staff, and he had every right to worry if he wanted.

"I know this is my job and all," Chad said, "but you never leave a club this early, and sure as hell not without some arm candy; what's up?"

Jared looked over his shoulder, back to where the club was getting smaller and smaller in the distance until Chad turned a corner and it disappeared completely; he didn't have a real answer for the other man, no way of explaining how everything felt wrong, like he was suddenly too big for his own skin, his own life, which didn't make sense because Jared had quite an amazing life. 

"I just didn't feel it," Jared said, looking out the window at the city flashing by, neon lights chasing away the stars above.

"You didn't feel like getting laid?" Chad said incredulously. "Damn, boss, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were mated."

Jared huffed out a laugh at that. In a world where the population was closing in on seven billion, it was extremely rare for anyone to meet their mate, and bonding was a thing of fairy tales, something most people longed for but knew would never happen. He was just about to say something mocking to Chad when all the pieces of the puzzle slotted together: the way he was longing for something he couldn't put a name to, the irritation simmering in him, the way the very thought of touching anyone making bile rise in his throat. Only, that wasn't completely true; the second Jared thought of touching the green-eyed hooker, his cock hardened and some of the irritation faded away.

"Oh, fuck."

~*~

"Are you sure?" Jared snapped, avoiding the gaze of the doctor sitting on the other side of the desk; instead his eyes were locked on the little nameplate, 'Leslie McNeill PhD.'

"Aren't you?" the short-haired woman shot back, raising one eyebrow, unfazed by Jared's less-than-friendly attitude.

Jared sighed and leaned back in his chair. He was very sure, actually; there was no doubt in his mind that he had mated with the green-eyed hooker two weeks ago. The only time he felt even somewhat at ease was when he allowed himself to think of him. 

"I guess ignoring it and hoping it'll go away is too much to hope for?" Jared muttered.

"Mating doesn't work like that," Dr. McNeill said with a shake of her head. "What you’re feeling now is nothing compared to what you’ll feel if you _stay_ away from your mate. It _will_ kill the both of you if you don't find him again." 

Jared cursed a blue streak, but Dr. McNeill remained silent, simply watching Jared until he calmed down.

"You never bothered to learn about mating, did you?" Dr. McNeill asked.

Jared shrugged. He had never seen the point of reading up on something that was barely more than the romantic dream of some teenage girls; he had never met anyone who had actually managed to find their mate. Things like that just didn't happen.

"Mr. Padalecki," the doctor said. "I've done all the tests I can, but even without all that, we both know what’s happened. You should count yourself lucky; do you know how few people ever meet their mate? You should be grateful for this. I won’t see you again until you're here with him at your side."

Jared knew a dismissal when he heard it. After shaking Dr. McNeill's hand, he walked stiffly out of her nicely-furnished office, but it wasn't until he was alone in the elevator that he allowed himself to bang his head against the wall, savoring the pain that shot through his skull and took away any thoughts of his damn mate for a few blissful moments. 

Chad looked up when Jared practically tore the car door open before sliding into the backseat; his chauffeur quickly put his phone away and started up the car.

"We'll have to go back," Jared said after a few long minutes.

"To the doctor?" Chad asked, lifting his foot from the gas pedal.

"What? No. To Camarillo. I’ve got a mate I need to take home," Jared said with a groan. "Can... I don't want people to find out just yet. You’ll drive there for me."

Chad remained silent for the rest of the drive back to Jared's office, but when he pulled to a stop, he turned around and looked at Jared.

"What should I do when I find him?" Chad asked.

Jared blinked a few times, considering. In his mind, there was only one option.

"Bring him to me."

  


Jensen drummed his fingers on the table, ignoring the dark looks from the people around him; his feelings of 'off' and 'wrong' kept growing, stronger and stronger every day, and he didn't know what to do about them. He didn’t even know how to pick up new customers; he had almost punched the first guy who had put his hands on his body once the marks Jared had left on him had faded enough to allow him to work again.

"Here. I think you need this."

A fresh cup of black coffee was placed onto the table in front of him and only then did Jensen realize that his own cup was empty; he hadn't even been aware of drinking it.

"You're too nice to me, Julie," he said with a sigh.

"I'm really not," Julie answered. "But you're starting to scare the other customers; it's worth a cup of coffee to keep them from running off."

"It's not that bad," Jensen muttered, but Julie ignored him and untied her apron before sliding into the seat opposite him.

"I’m on a break, and you clearly need someone to talk to. So talk," she said. 

Jensen looked at the girl who had done such a good job of nestling into his life when he was looking the other way; he wasn't quite prepared to spill his guts to her over a cup of coffee yet, even though the dark, bitter brew she offered tasted like ambrosia. 

"It's nothing," he said, trying to focus on the book in front of him. His tests were in little more than two weeks, but he couldn't concentrate on the material at all and he could feel his future slipping through his fingers. "All I want is to get my GED so I don't have to..."

It looked like Julie was about to say something, but whatever had been on the top of her tongue was superseded by a blonde man stepping up beside their table and zeroing in on Jensen curiously.

"Jensen, right?" he asked.

Jensen didn't know what to say say. The man looked out of place in the simple coffee shop, his expensive black suit clinging to his toned body perfectly, but his voice was somehow familiar.

"I'm Chad Murray," the man said, setting off a bell somewhere in the back of Jensen's mind. "Mr. Padalecki sent me."

Jensen’s blood ran cold and his breath caught in his throat; he suddenly remembered with crystal clarity where he had heard that voice before.

"No."

The response was out of his mouth like a bullet before he knew what he was refusing, but he tensed reflexively when he glared up at the other man.

"No?" Chad raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side.

"I'm not going with him ever again," Jensen said. He got up from his booth, forcing Chad to take a step back. "I don't care what he pays! I have no idea what your boss did to me the last time, but...no. I'm not going through that again."

"I'm pretty sure I know what he did to you," Chad said; the words would have sounded mocking if not for Chad's casual tone.

Jensen was aware of people watching him and he knew that he should shut up, that he was saying things he shouldn’t be saying in the middle of a full coffee shop, but he couldn't stop himself.

"I know what he bought me for, but I don't feel like this after an ordinary fuck," Jensen spat. "Not even what _he_ paid me can make up for..."

He fell silent when a hand landed on his arm; Julie was staring at him, her wide-eyed gaze drifting back and forth between him and Chad Murray. Jensen knew full well that the girl wasn't stupid, and there was no way she hadn't figured out what Jensen was.

"I have to ask you to leave," Julie said firmly.

Jensen took a step towards the door, anger bristling under his skin, but he couldn't blame the young barista for not wanting a prostitute around.

"Not you," Julie said, pulling him back. "Him!"

She glared at Chad, and even though the man was several inches taller, he shrank back in the face of her intense anger. Before he left, he turned to Jensen for a final thought.

"I know what he 'did' to you," he said. "And you _have_ to talk to him, whether you want to or not; this won’t go away. I have the car outside, and I'll be waiting to take you to your _mate_."

The man turned on his heel and walked right out of the cafe and Jensen could do nothing but stare, slack-jawed, until the door closed, a bell chiming prominently in the suddenly silent room.

"Mate?" Julie whispered, breaking the stifling silence.

Jensen couldn't speak, his entire body at war with itself; need and longing battled with anger and humiliation, all of it muffled by bright shock. All the small hints fell into place when Jensen thought about it: his annoyance and ultimately his disgust when people tried to touch him, the ever-present itch under his skin that kept him from focusing on his studies or the customers who wanted to pay for his time. But above all, he knew why Jared had been in his thoughts for the two weeks since they had seen each other, and it wasn't because Jensen was trying to blame him for how wrong everything felt.

"Mate?" Julie said again, her voice rising an octave.

The patrons’ low murmurs filled the room as they put their heads together and whispered eagerly to each other, pointing and staring at Jensen where he stood frozen to the ground. Each and every person must have realized by then that he was a hooker. A hooker who had mated with a paying customer. The flash of a camera brought Jensen out of his daze and Julie moved at the same time that he did, putting herself in between the cameras going off and Jensen, who tried to hide his face as she guided him into the 'Staff Only' parts of the coffee shop. The mutterings rose in volume until Jensen could make out words like 'rent boy' and 'mated.'

"You're mated," she said as she pushed Jensen down into a chair.

Looking around, Jensen identified the area as a break room, a few chairs surrounding a small table and a rickety bookshelf stocked with a few dog-eared volumes. It was a comfy place, but Jensen wanted to get up and run away; keep running until none of it was true anymore.

"I can't be," he said weakly. "No one finds their mate. It doesn't happen."

"That's why you've been so off," Julie said, ignoring his protests. "Jensen, this is huge! This changes _everything_... Who is he?"

"Someone who paid for a hooker and fucked him so hard he could barely stand," Jensen snapped, the anger inside him boiling up unchecked.

Julie paled and sank down into a chair opposite Jensen, a horrified expression on her face.

"Your mate abused you?"

Jensen's head jerked up so hard it made his neck hurt, a new anger blended with the old one at the notion of someone talking about Jared like that; in a horrifying flash, Jensen realized that their mating bond had forced an unwanted protectiveness in him.

"It's not abuse when I accepted payment to let him do it," Jensen muttered. "It's what I do. It's who I am. I let men fuck me for money. I'm a hooker."

"But he's your _mate_ ," Julie protested. "Your mate should care for you; how could he hurt you? It would hurt him too! A mate should only want what's best for you."

Her words sounded like they had been taken straight from a textbook on mating, and a bitter laugh bubbled up out of Jensen at the romanticism lacing Julie's voice, her horror at a mate being anything short of perfect.

"We weren't mated," Jensen answered, forcing the words out. "It takes a while for a mating bond to settle."

It was true; mating was one of the things he had studied for the Science test in his upcoming GED, and he knew enough about it to be certain: He was mated. Too bad he had no idea what to do with that piece of information.

"You didn’t feel anything special?" Julie asked.

Jensen thought about the long night he had spent with Jared, how every touch had sent pleasure crackling under his skin and each snap of Jared's hips had made Jensen beg for more, pushing his pleasure higher than it ever been. The mere thought of Jared's hands on his body made Jensen's jeans tighten uncomfortably.

"It was just sex," Jensen muttered, looking down at where his hands were folded on the table.

Beyond the door to the small break room, the world continued to move along, and he knew that Chad Murray, Jared's damn driver, was waiting for him. Waiting for Jensen to stop freaking out. Jensen didn't see that happening any time soon. Julie cleared her throat; Jensen looked up and met her gaze.

"The GED," Julie started, and Jensen wondered if she was attempting to change the subject.

"I'm getting too old," Jensen said, the truth of it bitter on his tongue. "I need to do something else... I need to live when people stop paying."

"But maybe this can be..." Julie hesitated for a second. "It could be a good thing? A way out?"

"No," Jensen snapped. "I may be a hooker, but I will not be some rich asshole’s kept boy."

Julie looked taken aback by the anger radiating off of Jensen, but he couldn't reign it in; he stood up and took a step towards the door but stopped dead in his tracks almost immediately. As much as he wanted to be out of that room, away from Julie and the pity in her eyes, he wanted to walk outside and face the truth even less.

"So what are you going to do?" Julie asked.

Jensen leaned his head against the door, one hand still on the handle as his breath left him in a bone-deep sigh. 

"I don't know."

"You need him," Julie said, quickly raising both hands in a submissive gesture when Jensen turned to glare at her. "No, wait. I know you don't want to need him, but you do. It's in your biology now."

It was like someone had emptied gallons of freezing water over him, clearing his mind in no time and making him shiver. She was right; he could _feel_ that she was right, could feel how every fiber of his being was longing for something that he knew was Jared. 

"You're going to die without him," Julie said softly.

"I need to see him." Jensen straightened his spine. "No matter what happens, I need to see him."

He wished he felt even half as sure of himself as he sounded, but there was nothing for it; he walked out of the small break room to the car waiting for him outside. The car that would take him to Jared.

~*~

Jensen hadn't known what to expect, but the car outside wasn't the sleek black limousine that Jared had picked him up in last time; instead it was a dark green Bentley, and even though Jensen sat in the backseat, he missed the privacy of the limousine. He felt Chad's eyes on him from time to time, even though the blonde man hadn't said a word since the two of them had gotten into the car. It wasn't until they had left Camarillo behind that he spoke up.

"Chad," he said, forcing his voice to sound strong. "Where are we going? LA?"

"No," Chad said, smoothly steering the car into a faster lane. "Escondido. So you might as well make yourself comfortable."

Jensen was too stunned to say anything, to really comprehend what was happening; he sat in silence as the landscape sped by out the window. Escondido was hours away; he wondered how Jared was planning to make things work with that kind of distance between them. Closing his eyes, he drifted away for awhile, trying to thing of anything _but_ the fact that he had a damn mate, but it was impossible. It was like every mile that took him closer to Jared focused more of Jensen’s attention on him, like he was a magnet dragging Jensen in.

"Who is he?" Jensen asked when he could see the Los Angeles skyline in the distance. 

"Jared?" Chad asked, like there was any chance Jensen would have asked about anyone else. "He's the CEO of JTPR. I'm not sure you've heard of them, but..."

"I have," Jensen snapped, anger rising inside him. "I might be a prostitute, but I'm not stupid."

Chad's blue eyes met his in the rear view mirror for just a second before the man focused on the road again without responding to Jensen's angry words; Jensen didn't feel like saying more anyway, his mind numb from that little sliver of information. Even just the few-days-old magazines he used to read at the café were enough to inform him of the PR company that had risen to fame over the last few years, all of their success supposedly thanks to the smart, ruthless CEO, just a few years older than Jensen himself, who had gone out of his way to land several big name clients. Jensen couldn't remember if any of the articles had ever been accompanied by pictures—not that it would have made a difference; Jensen accepted customers for their ability to pay, not for their ability to be featured in newspapers. Still, he knew that a mating bond with someone like Jared wouldn't be kept a secret for long. 

Jensen didn't know when he had managed to fall asleep, but suddenly Chad was shaking him awake as he tried to blink the world back into focus.

"We're here," Chad said, withdrawing his hand. "He's waiting for you."

Jensen pushed himself into an upright position and looked out the window, but their surroundings didn't tell him much; they were in an underground garage in front of an elevator.

"What floor?" Jensen asked, his voice rough with sleep.

"Top floor," Chad said with a small smirk like it should have been obvious. "Push the button for the Penthouse and he’ll buzz you up."

A few deep breaths did nothing to calm Jensen, but he couldn't stay in the Bentley forever; he opened the door and got out, looking back at Chad, but the second the car door slammed shut, the other man was driving away. When Jensen pushed the call button, the doors opened soundlessly and Jensen stepped into a chamber of smooth brown wood and mirrors. He didn't like what he saw in the mirrors, his hair standing every which way and his eyes were too wide and full of emotion for his liking. 

He found the button he was supposed to push, but even though the elevator doors had slid shut already, it took awhile for him to gather himself together enough to press it, and he jumped when a voice rang out from the small speaker above the panel.

" _Who is this?_ "

"Jensen. I'm..."

He didn't get another word in before he heard a click and the elevator jerked into motion, the numbers slowly ticking by as the elevator rose to the top of the building. Dragging his fingers through his hair, Jensen tried to make himself look somewhat presentable, telling himself that it wasn’t for Jared's sake. He just didn't want to look like he just woken up, even if he had. His clothes were still somewhat wrinkled, but by the time the elevator reached the top floor, Jensen had collected himself as much as possible under the circumstances. Correcting his posture, he forced himself to calm down when the doors slid open and he stepped out into a small hallway that opened up into a big living room, panorama windows showing off a glorious sunset over an unfamiliar skyline. 

"Mr. Padalecki?" Jensen tried hesitantly as he stepped into the living room. 

"Now, now," a voice said close behind him. "That's no way to speak to your mate."

  


Weeks. Weeks without seeing his mate, without feeling his soft skin under his fingers, without having that lean body arch up against his, and Jared swore he'd been able to feel Jensen getting closer since he'd gotten a text from Chad informing him that they were on their way. Jared leaned against the wall next to the small alcove that lead to the elevator, hoping to get a glimpse of his mate before the man saw him.

“Now, now. That’s no way to speak to your mate.”

Jensen spun around and faced him and Jared's senses were assaulted by the perfection that was his mate; creamy skin, brilliant green eyes framed by long eyelashes, and the full mouth that Jared remembered the feel of all too well.

"I'll speak to you however I want," Jensen spat, stepping away. 

Jared pushed off the wall and stalked closer to the man, his _mate_ , wanting to keep the distance between them at a minimum now that he was within touching distance, but Jensen kept backing away until he had walked into the back of a couch and almost toppled over. 

"I don't see why you're moving away from me," Jared said matter-of-factly. "It's not like you can change what's between us. You're my mate and you crave me as much as I crave you, I know it."

Jensen glared at him, making no move to limit the distance between them.

"You're not paying me now, Mr. Padalecki," Jensen said curtly. "I might be your mate, but that doesn't mean I have to like it, or that I have to like _you_."

Jared shrugged; he had no plans for affection. His mind was already set on the status he would attain by being one of the few people in the world who had actually managed to find their mate. He thought of all the fancy dinners he would attend with a _mate_ on his arm, and of all the important people who would look upon him with envy, even more so for his mate’s beauty. He just needed to mold Jensen into the perfect accessory. 

"Of course not," Jared said, walking around Jensen to sit down on the couch the man was pressed up against. "But I will, of course, expect you to sleep in my bed; that's what mates do, and you and I both know that it’ll make our time apart easier to handle."

He felt the other man’s green eyes on him until Jensen walked around to face Jared, his previous anger replaced by violent rage as he almost trembled with it. 

"Sleep in your bed?" Jensen snarled. "I have no plans to _stay_ here, Mr. Padalecki. I will be here as much as is required to keep our... _bond_ from becoming a health hazard, but not a second more. I have a life to live."

Jared laughed out loud, ignoring the way Jensen said 'bond' like it was poison on his tongue.

"I hate to break it to you, Jensen," Jared said, still laughing at Jensen’s stunned expression, "but you're a hooker. Whatever 'life' you have is nothing compared to what I can offer you. We just need to make some small changes; obviously those clothes have to go, and I think you could use a haircut."

Jared stood up and walked in a circle around Jensen, eyeing the way his worn jeans drooped around his waist and his simple t-shirt hung loosely over his body. Jensen spun around to face him, his hands clenched into fists; Jared wondered if the man would be foolish enough to try and strike his mate. 

"I'm not changing for you," Jensen snapped. "And I have a life, a life I’ll return to as soon as it doesn't hurt me to go. I might be a hooker, but _you're not paying me anymore_. I'm your mate, not your kept whore."

Jared briskly stepped forward and took the man’s wrists in a steady grip before his anger boiled over into something that would hurt them both, but he wasn't prepared for the sudden shift of emotions that came the second they touched. All of his senses was focused on his mate in a way he'd never felt before, the soft skin under his fingers sending a current of electricity through his body, putting every nerve ending in his body on fire as all coherent thought left him in favor of _mate_ and _mine_ and _need_. Jensen seemed to feel the same; his anger drained away, the tension in his body now coming from something else. The younger man's hands were free from Jared's grip in an instant, but instead of pushing away, he lifted them to tangle in Jared's hair, pulling his head down for a searing kiss.

Neither of them spoke as they tugged at each other’s clothes, desperate to feel skin on skin; Jared growled in disappointment when he had to move his mouth from Jensen's for the second it took to pull the man's t-shirt over his head while Jensen tore at the buttons of Jared's short sleeved Armani shirt. Buttons clicked as they rolled over the hardwood floor, but it didn't mean anything; the only thing of any importance was getting Jensen's mouth back on his and the man's now-naked chest pressed against him. It wasn't until Jensen stumbled, Jared’s hands the only thing keeping him on his feet, that Jared realized they were moving, that he was pushing Jensen towards his bedroom; it seemed that whatever brain functions either of them still possessed were on board with that plan because Jensen went willingly, still licking into Jared's mouth like he was trying to taste every part of him. 

Jared pushed Jensen down on the bed, his hands falling to the waistline of the man's baggy jeans. He didn't even bother popping the button open before he pulled them down along with the boxers underneath, struggling to get them off fully; Jensen toed off his sneakers and soon he was naked and writhing on the blankets. Jensen reached for Jared, his agile fingers pushing at the buttons of Jared’s jeans; Jared helped him push them down before he got on the bed, covering his mate's slightly smaller body with his own and pressing their mouths back together. A deep moan filled the room when their hips rocked together, making their hard dicks slide against each other, but Jared didn't know which of them had made the sound, or if it had been both. 

"Need to..." Jared gasped, pulling away from Jensen long enough to reach for the bedside table and the lube and condoms stored there. 

Jensen took the opportunity to press his soft lips against Jared's neck, biting into the tender skin; Jared shivered at the feel, not caring that he would have marks to show for it in the morning. Jensen's nails dragged down over his back, stinging the sweat-slicked skin and moving down to the curve of Jared's ass before he pushed his fingers into muscle, pulling Jared down as Jensen arched up against him. 

"So fucking eager," Jared mumbled into his mate's shoulder. "Need to be in you, mark you up. My mate, _mine_!"

He pushed up on his knees, forcing Jensen's exploring hands to leave his body; the man mumbled an incoherent protest that quickly turned into a moan when Jared slicked his fingers with lube and pushed two into Jensen's body without giving him any chance to adjust to the sudden stretch. Not that Jensen needed any, if the way he impaled himself on Jared's fingers was anything to go by. Jared looked down to where the man's hard cock was curving up against his belly, droplets of pre-come glistening at the tip, and he didn't think twice before leaning in to lick them away, the intimate taste making his own dick twitch in interest. He angled his fingers, pushing in and out of the other man's tight ass, searching for the spot that made Jensen suddenly arch up, moaning loudly as his cock pushed deep into Jared's mouth.

Each push of Jared's fingers against the sensitive spot made more pre-come leak out to coat his tongue until all Jared could taste was his mate; the need to be inside the man was more than he could take. He pulled off of his cock with a wet pop, letting his tongue flick over the head one final time before he sat back up and pulled his fingers free of the man's body. 

"Don't stop," Jensen groaned, his hips thrusting upwards in a plea. "Can't stop, need...dammit... Fuck, Jared, just _do_ something."

Jared started to reach for the condoms, but the thought of any barricade between him and his mate made something deep inside of him growl in protest; he covered his bare cock with lube instead and pushed Jensen's legs up and apart, looking down to where his mate was slick and ready for him. He positioned his cock at the small entrance, taking a deep breath, but before he could do anything, Jensen cursed and got enough leverage to push himself down on Jared's cock, making the entire length slide in before Jared was prepared. For a second, he thought he would come right there and then, his cock surrounded by impossibly tight heat.

"Fuck," he groaned, collapsing forward as he covered his mate's mouth with his own and kissed him hard, their tongues tangling. 

Jensen's legs wrapped around Jared's waist and his whole body strained to get closer to Jared, something that Jared thought was a wonderful idea; every place their bodies touched seemed to make the pleasure between them rise higher and higher. They clung to each other, hands sliding over sweaty skin, and their bodies moved in a desperate rhythm that pushed them both to an orgasm that Jared craved like the air he was forcing into his lunges in the few seconds he managed to spare himself away from Jensen’s lips. 

Neither of them spoke; they didn't need to, not with the emotions and need that filled what little space was left between them. They moaned into each other's mouths until Jensen's nails ripped down Jared's back, salty sweat stinging in the marks he left behind when his body locked down around Jared and he came with a scream, his inner muscles gripping Jared tight; Jared had no way to keep his own orgasm at bay with his mate falling apart beneath him, around him. 

When Jared had finished coming down from his orgasm, his lips were still locked with Jensen's, but the desperate, hard kisses had turned soft and languid, their feverish need put to rest and reality pressing at the edges of his mind as he wondered what had just happened. 

"Well,” Jared said, pulling away. “That was..."

Jensen tensed the second they lost contact, making Jared groan as Jensen's inner muscles clenched around his softening cock in a way that made his body perk up for a second round. 

"Get _off_ me," Jensen gasped, pressing at Jared's shoulders.

Jared pulled his cock free and Jensen hissed, shuffling away; Jared watched the trickle of his come leaving Jensen’s body, possessiveness flaring in Jared's belly even as his mate was struggling. Jared rolled off before the man landed a knee somewhere it would hurt.

"You don't need to struggle so much," Jared said, stretching out. "Just let me catch my breath and we can do it again."

The words were barely out of his mouth before Jensen was off the bed, scrambling for his clothes; Jared propped himself up on his elbows, watching with an amused smile on his lips as the other man got dressed. 

"I didn't came here for this," Jensen said as he yanked his jeans up over his hips. "This was... It's just the bond. It's not _me_."

"You wanted it," Jared said. He sat up on the big bed. "You needed it as much as I did. And you feel better for it."

"I have to go home," Jensen snapped, pulling his t-shirt back on. "Your driver, tell him to take me back."

"Chad has the evening off; he won’t be free until tomorrow," Jared said. "But I don't see what your hurry is; it's not like you have much to return to. I can offer you everything."

Jensen flinched at the words and glared at Jared from under the sweaty hair that had fallen in his eyes, but some of the flight instinct seemed to have drained out of him as his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"I don't have money to take a train or a plane," Jensen gritted out. "Was this part of your plan to keep me here? Make sure I can't leave?"

"Not a plan, just a bonus." Jared got up from the bed. "I don't understand why you're fighting this. Is the sex no good?"

"As you so astutely pointed out earlier, I'm a hooker," Jensen answered. "The sex doesn't need to be good, it just needs to _be_."

Anger rose like a tidal wave in Jared and he quickly pulled his own jeans on, not bothering to button them up before he crowded Jensen up against the wall.

"You're _not_ still doing that!" he growled. "You can't be!"

Jensen raised his chin defiantly but didn't answer; the lack of denial was enough to make Jared slam his fist into the wall besides Jensen's head, but the man didn't even flinch.

"You're my mate," Jared fumed. "You fucking can't be spreading your legs for anyone who shoves some bills your way. Fucking whore!"

For a second, Jared thought he saw something new in those green eyes, something close to to hurt, but then the man's face closed off and he pushed Jared back, making him stumble until his legs hit the bed.

"You knew what I was when you bought me," Jensen said coldly. "You didn't care then, didn't hesitate to use me until I could barely stand up, so fuck you. You don't know shit about me, Mr. Padalecki."

"If you're the kind of guy who cheats on his mate, then I don't want to know," Jared said angrily, stalking to the door. "Stay in this room for the night. Tomorrow we can discuss how best to move you in here."

"I will not..."

Jared slammed the door behind him, cutting Jensen's protest off, and walked out into the living room, sinking down on the big leather cough and stretching his legs out in front of him. The mere thought of Jensen with anyone else made his stomach churn unpleasantly and his fingers itched to get back on Jensen's skin, to hold on until the man was bearing bruises, until Jared could mark him up so that everyone would know who he belonged to.

"Damn him," Jared muttered to no one in particular. "Why does he make everything so much harder? He belongs to me, the stupid, stubborn hooker."

Jared stayed there until his eyes started to droop; he knew better than to sleep on the couch, no matter how comfortable it might look. He got up and walked to the guest bedroom, but only after firmly locking the door to his own bedroom.

~*~

"Jared, you goddamn fucking asshole! Open the door or I'll..."

The rest of the words were lost in a string of curses that made Jared frown. His mate needed more polishing than he had first thought, but sleep had calmed Jared down some and he was sure he would be able to make Jensen see things from his perspective. 

"You know, threats don't really make me all that eager to unlock this door," Jared said, leaning against the door frame. 

He heard Jensen beating his fists against the door, followed by a kick hard enough to make the sturdy panel rattle. 

"You locked me in," Jensen shouted. "Why the hell did you lock me in here?"

"What?" Jared said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You mean you didn't try to sneak off before I woke up?"

The responding silence was answer enough and Jared put the key in the lock, opening the door quickly as Jensen fell into his arms, his eyes bright like fire.

"I'm not yours to command," Jensen snarled. "I have things to do. People to meet."

Jared didn't ask what people, but he had to bite down on his anger, instead pushing Jensen up against the wall and covering his mouth with his own, kissing him to try and chase the anger away.

"No, stop that," Jensen spat, untangling himself from Jared's grasp. "You can't just... Fuck it. I'm not your sex toy. Get your driver, I want to leave. Now."

Jared turned and walked into the living room, Jensen following in his footsteps. 

"Chad is waiting with the car," Jared said. "He'll be back to pick you up on Friday. And before you say anything, remember that we need it. I spoke to a doctor, and...a week is the longest we can be apart before we start feeling like we did before. I can't have that. I need to focus on my work."

Jensen's gaze locked with his and he opened his mouth as if to say something, but then he snapped it shut and walked towards the elevator. 

"I'm not moving," he said when the doors slid open. "I don't care if we're mates or not, I have my life to live and you're not a part of that."

Jared waited until he heard the elevator begin its descent before he picked up his phone and pushed the speed dial; it rang once before the man on the other end answered.

"He's on the way down. Yes. Of course. Just try to stall, and I'll be following you in my car. Chad, I know, but I’m not letting him go so easily. He belongs here. With me."

~*~

Jared stared through the café's big windows at the scene playing out inside, his teeth grinding together painfully. Some pretty blonde girl was putting her arms around _his_ mate, wrapping them around Jensen's neck as he put his arms around her waist in turn, holding her close. Jared was moving before he could even think about it; only Chad stepping up in front of him stopped him from storming into the café and pulling the girl away.

"Mr. Padalecki," Chad snapped. "Control yourself." 

The oddity of Chad telling him what to do dimmed the red haze of his vision some and Jared forced himself to take a few deep breaths, trying to calm down.

"Who's that?" Jared gritted out. "And why the hell is she touching him? How _dare_ she?"

The girl took a step back, stroking her hands down over her slightly rumpled apron before she pushed Jensen into a chair in the corner, a smile still on her lips. What really got to Jared, though, was the look on his mate's face; the man looked more relaxed than Jared had ever seen him, apart from when he was blissed out on orgasms. Jensen wore a small smile as he watched the girl go behind the counter, preparing a cup of coffee that she took to Jensen's table before she returned to her work, stopping every now and then to chat with him. The smile grew wider when Jensen lifted to cup to his lips, sipping the hot brew as his eyes fluttered shut.

"Her name is Julie," Chad said. "I don't know how they know each other, but she was there yesterday, so she knows he's mated."

"She knows? And she touches him like that?" Jared growled. "He's mine!"

"Of course," Chad said, pushing away from the car they were leaning against. "Good luck getting him to see it that way."

Jared didn't answer, instead letting Chad climb into his own car and drive off as Jared stared into the café, his mind cataloguing every little detail of the way Jensen bit down on a pen while he read whatever book it was he had pulled from his worn messenger bag. He was aware of every time Jensen's lips touched his coffee cup, the way they came away wet and shiny when he put it back down, but after awhile, he'd had enough.

Walking into the café, he felt Jensen's presence like a beacon in his mind; Jensen must have felt the same because his eyes snapped up, going wide when he saw Jared cross the floor and sit down in the chair across from him without a word. 

"Mr. Padalecki," Jensen said curtly when the silence had stretched out between them too long. 

"Are we back to that?" Jared asked coldly. "You sounded different when you were moaning my name."

Jensen leaned back in his chair in a poor imitation of nonchalance given away by the stiffness of his shoulders. When Jared focused on his mate, he felt the tension like it was his own, but he didn't know if it was all in his mind or if that was actually part of the bond still forming between them.

"You're an asshole," Jensen bit out. "What do you see when you look at me? Your mate? Or a hooker? A little sex toy and some bonus arm candy?"

The question drew Jared's gaze down to the man's body, hidden under his baggy clothes; he was close to commenting on them but shrugged a little instead.

"I see what you are," he said without delving deeper into the issue.

Jensen’s eyes hardened then, their grassy green turning to sharp emerald, and he started shoving his books into his messenger bag before Jared could see what he had been reading.

"You see what I am?" Jensen said, standing. "You don't know anything about me, Jared. You might be my mate, but you don't _know_ me. You just want to _claim_ me."

"I'm helping you," Jared said, leaning forward. "Don't you see it? You don't need work the streets; I’ll give you whatever you need, whatever you want. As my mate, by my side, you'll have everything."

"What I want," Jensen said with deadly calm, "is to depend on _myself_."

He turned on his heel and stalked out of café, leaving Jared sitting across from an empty cup as Julie glared daggers at him before she rolled her eyes and turned away.

  
***[Masterpost](http://aythia.livejournal.com/179669.html) ***  
* [Part Two](http://aythia.livejournal.com/180004.html) *

  


Jensen knew Jared hadn't stayed in Camarillo after their run-in at the café, but he didn't want to think of how he knew it, or the way he felt his distance from Jared like a deep ache, the itch working its way back under his skin.

He lay on his lumpy bed, staring up at a spot in the ceiling and wondering how on Earth he was going to make rent for the week. With one week left before his GED, he was starting to realize that he hadn't made any plans beyond that day; it had been his only goal for a long time, his ticket off the streets, but all that had been turned upside down when Jared had entered his life. It wasn't that Jensen didn't _want_ to take new customers; it was that he _couldn't_. He had tried once, when what little funds he had had started to run low, but anger and disgust had filled him as soon as the man lay a finger on him and he was amazed he hadn't hurt the john in his attempts to get out of the car as quickly as possible. He had even been close to pushing Julie away when she had hugged him, and she was his _friend_. 

With a bone-deep sigh, Jensen turned over and looked at pile of books on his bedside table; even with all the time he had recently spent studying instead of turning tricks, the information wouldn’t stick in his mind, and he had lost out on a lot of paydays besides. It was only a matter of time before his bloodhound of a landlord came kicking his door down, demanding money that Jensen didn't have. The rusted-out radiator in the corner had stopped working but Jensen didn't dare tell his landlord; the man was more likely to throw Jensen out than help him in any way. Instead, Jensen was buried under the few threadbare blankets he had, shivering in the cold.

_At least with Jared, you'll be warm._

Jensen ignored the nagging little voice in the back of his mind; that was one prospect he was not prepared to pursue any further.

A loud knock on the door tore Jensen from his somewhat depressing thoughts and he shuffled out of bed, the springs protesting his departure as he swore at the frigid air. He didn't undo the security chain, opening the door about an inch and peering out.

"Mr. Whatley," Jensen said, going pale at the sight of his landlord. "I'm...about... I don't..."

"I'm here about the heat," the man interrupted Jensen before he could spin some lie about why the rent hadn't been paid on time. "We’ll get the heating in the building fixed in the next few days, but until then, here’s something to keep you warm."

Jensen stared in stunned silence as the man gestured beside himself to a small portable radiator; it wasn't until Mr. Whatley raised his eyebrow pointedly at the door chain that Jensen shut the door to unlock it and let the other man inside, the radiator in his arms. 

"I'll plug it in here," he said, putting it down close to Jensen's bed. "Not that the location matters much in a place this small."

"About the rent," Jensen said before he lost what little bravado he had managed to muster. "I’ll..."

"It's all taken care of, Mr. Ackles," the landlord said with something that Jensen figured was supposed to be a smile stretching his gaunt face. "It's all paid for, up through the next month."

Jensen's jaw dropped, but when Mr. Whatley walked out the door, he managed to get himself under control and called out after him.

"Who paid it?" he asked, afraid he already knew the answer.

Mr. Whatley turned to look at Jensen with an unreadable expression on his face. "Your mate, of course," he said as though it was the most natural thing in the world. "He was the one who asked me to put the radiator in, too."

Jensen stared after his landlord, frozen to the spot long time after he had disappeared around the corner; it wasn't until the sound of a slamming door jarred him out of his daze that he stepped back into the apartment and shut the door, sliding the chain back into place before he turned to stare at the place he called home. There wasn't much to it: a creaking old bed and a small television in a corner, a pantry mere feet from the bed, a card table and two chairs. Still, it was his. Or at least, it had been; suddenly he felt like it all belonged to Jared. Despite the warmth spreading through the room, a shiver ran down Jensen’s spine.

~*~

"I'm not going," Jensen said, glaring at the man on the other side of the open door.

"What do you mean, you're not going?" Chad growled, glaring right back. "I'm here to pick you up. You said you’d come."

Jensen slammed the door shut, but Chad pushed it open again before Jensen managed to get the chain in place; Jensen stumbled back, bracing one hand against the wall where the paint was peeling.

"I didn't say that," Jensen spat. " _He_ said that. I didn't agree, he just assumed I’d be okay with whatever he wanted. But you know what? I'm not his damn slave; I don't come just because he rings some fucking silver bell and wants me kneeling at his feet."

Chad opened his mouth, but Jensen went on over him; once he had gotten started, it was hard to stop, and unlike Julie, Jensen felt that Chad deserved to see him go off.

"I have a life, not that he fucking cares, right? I'm just a whore. All he wants is to polish me up to look presentable at cocktail parties, but that's not me. I'm doing something for myself."

"I can see that," Chad said dryly.

"Oh, fuck you. And fuck Jared. And fuck the high horse you both rode in on," Jensen shouted, taking an angry step towards Chad. "So I work the street, that's my _job_! It's not who I am, but you wouldn't know anything about that, would you? 'Cause you know shit about me, and Jared doesn’t care about me for shit. Now get the fuck out of my apartment."

"Right," Chad said. He stepped back out into the hall and looked down at his watch. "It usually takes about three hours to drive here, so I guess Jared’ll be knocking in two and a half."

Jensen slammed the door in his face.

~*~

The pounding on the door made the water in a glass on the kitchen counter tremble; Jensen gritted his teeth, trying to focus on the book open his lap.

"Jensen, open the damn door," Jared shouted. Jensen could feel the man's anger seeping over their bond.

He didn't answer, hadn't said a word since Jared had arrived fifteen minutes earlier. Part of him hoped that the shouting would prompt someone to file a complaint, but he was realistic enough to know that it wasn't going to happen; not in this neighborhood where 'mind your own business' was the law of the land. The tension travelling across their mental link was punching the air from his lungs as Jared's anger rose and his fists slammed against the door even harder, rattling it on its hinges.

"I know you're there," Jared called. "I can _feel_ you in there!"

Jensen didn't doubt it for a second; Jared was as aware of Jensen as Jensen was of Jared, maybe even more considering Jared appeared to be trying to get more information from their still-forming bond while Jensen did everything in his power to ignore it, pretending that Jared's emotions didn't reach him. That Jared couldn't feel his desire simmering under the surface. 

"I swear to fucking god, Jensen, I _will_ call the landlord and get him to open this door. Hell, I'll break it off its hinges if you don't let me the fuck in!"

His own anger fueled by the anger rolling off of Jared, Jensen got off the bed, ignoring his book as it fell to the floor with a loud thump, and suddenly found himself with both hands flat against the door, feeling the vibrations travelling through the thin wood.

"Go away," Jensen said, too low for it to actually reach Jared; the pounding stopped right away.

"Jensen," Jared said, his voice only slightly raised. "I hate shouting to my mate through a damn door."

"You're not shouting to me," Jensen answered bitterly. "You're shouting _at_ me."

"For fuck’s sake, open..."

Jensen slid the safety chain off and tore the door open to find Jared fuming on the other side. His hair, which Jensen had previously seen both perfectly slicked back state and a post-coital mess, was disheveled as though Jared had been running his fingers through it for the entire drive to Camarillo. 

"You'll get me evicted if you keep causing a scene," Jensen said angrily.

"No I won’t," Jared said. "And even if I do, why does it matter? You'd just move in with me."

Jared said it like it was the most natural thing in the world; Jensen was close to exploding, but before he could do anything, Jared pushed past him into the apartment and froze, staring around.

"You live here?" he asked, stunned.

Slamming the door, Jensen leaned against it, trying to distance himself from Jared as much as possible in what little space there was.

"Yes."

"But...this... It's a dump." Jared turned around to face Jensen, hair falling messily in his eyes. "I know what you pay for this place, it's fucking highway robbery."

"I never asked you to pay for me," Jensen pointed out. "Actually, I'm pretty sure I told you not to... I'm not your kept boy. I never will be."

Jared didn't answer, instead bending down to pick up Jensen’s discarded book and look over the numbers and equations that filled the pages.

"What is this?" Jared said, staring at it like it was a foreign object.

"A book," Jensen deadpanned. 

"I can see that," Jared said coolly. "But what are _you_ doing with it?"

The humiliating surprise in Jared's voice made Jensen clench his fists at his side as he fought the urge to hit the other man; even with the little knowledge he had garnered from his studies so far, he knew that physically hurting his mate would likely knock him out, too. He wanted to tell him to leave, but the bond between them was thrumming, making his blood feel thick and sluggish in his veins, and his anger was mingled with the desperate need to feel Jared under the tips of his fingers. Jensen was surprised that whatever he was feeling for Jared had morphed into something that wasn't purely physical anymore; he just wanted to touch him. That scared him more than his desperate need had their last time together. 

"I can read, you know." Jensen crossed the floor to snag the book from Jared's hands, careful to not touch him. 

"Can you... Jesus fuck," Jared groaned. "I've been working all fucking day and I broke a lot of traffic laws getting up here. Can we _not_ do this now? Just, get in the car, Jensen."

"No," Jensen said, putting the book back on the pile on his bedside table. "I'm not going anywhere except to bed to sleep."

Jared looked absolutely stunned and if it wasn't for the fact that Jensen was still angry, and that he wanted to kick Jared, he would have found it funny. As it was, he only sighed and walked into the minuscule bathroom without saying anything, trying to ignore the little part of him that was hoping Jared would still be there when he came back out. 

Needing to clear his mind, Jensen stripped out of his clothes, dropping them on the lid of the toilet before he stepped into the shower and shut the curtain, the rustle inordinately loud in the silence. When he turned the water on, he could no longer hear whether Jared was moving around the living area over the rush of blood in his own ears and the water pattering against his skin. Tilting his face upwards, he held his breath as the water washed some of his tensions down the drain until he felt a surge of emotions over the bond, arousal and need coming closer until he was sure Jared was standing just outside the door; before Jensen could do or say anything, he felt him move away, leaving Jensen to breath a sigh of relief as he simultaneously shut down his lingering disappointment. 

He turned the water as hot as it would go, scrubbing his skin until it felt raw and tender, but nothing washed away the feel of Jared's presence; despite his attempts to fight it, Jensen had no idea how to stop the mating bond from strengthening each time they met. It was too bad that staying away wasn't a valid option once the mating bond had started forming; even through the haze of his anger, Jensen felt the rightness of having Jared close.

Thoughts bounced around in his mind and he couldn't make heads or tails of them or figure out what his next step should be. Stepping out of the shower and rubbing a thin towel over his skin didn't help in any way.

"Are you planning on staying in there all night?" Jared asked through the door. There was less mocking in his voice than Jensen would have expected. 

"It's my apartment," Jensen said, pulling his sweats on over his slightly damp legs. "You're free to leave."

"No," Jared said, "I'm really not."

Jensen opened the door, preparing to glare Jared down only to find himself staring, slack-jawed, at his mate, spread out on Jensen's bed, the thin sheet covering only his middle and leaving muscled legs and a toned torso bare for Jensen to gape at.

"What are you doing in my bed?" Jensen hissed, suddenly uncomfortably aware that he hadn't put his t-shirt on. "Are you _naked_ under there?"

"If you're not coming with me, I have no choice but to stay here," Jared said. "You can deny it all you want, but you know we need to spend some time together."

The words were too true for Jensen to like them especially; he looked to the pile of clothes beside the bed before he forced himself to look at Jared properly for once, taking in the lean expanse of his muscles and tanned skin, the lazy sprawl of his body on Jensen’s bed, and the way something in the air was different than it had been before his shower, some shift between them that Jensen couldn't understand. 

"And no, Jensen," Jared said. "I'm not naked. I’ve got boxers on."

"Right," Jensen said vaguely, taking a step closer to the bed and dropping his t-shirt and socks in the hamper. He paused beside the bed, not quite knowing what to do next.

"Jensen," Jared said firmly. "We need...bond time, and you know it. Get into bed and we can pick this fight up in the morning."

Whatever protest had been on the tip of Jensen's tongue was washed away when Jared lifted a corner of the sheet, holding it up in an open invitation; Jensen hadn’t quite thought it through before he slid in underneath.

"We’ve still got some talking to do. About fucking limits," Jensen said when Jared reached for the bedside lamp.

"I don't believe in limits," Jared answered. He flipped the light off.

~*~

Jensen woke up to a feeling he was utterly unused to: safety. He didn't even know why; lying in his own bed, still half asleep, he felt content, and for a long time, he didn't want to open his eyes, happy to doze without having to think of money, or studies, or...the warm arms that were tightly wrapped around his waist. Jensen was abruptly aware of why he felt so at ease: he was lying almost completely on top of his mate, his head resting on the other man's shoulder, one hand on his heart and the other tucked under his head, his fingers tangled in his hair.

The body beneath his was moving up and down with Jared's rhythmic breathing; Jensen thought the movement should be annoying and hated himself for finding it calming. A big part of him was telling him to move, to get away from his sleeping mate, but Jensen was too content in the cocoon of Jared's embrace. His skin was tingling where it pressed against Jared’s firm muscles and smooth skin. As long as Jared didn't know Jensen was in his arms willingly, it didn't matter; Jensen could indulge himself, if only for a little while. It didn't mean anything.

Dragging in a slow, deep breath, Jensen relaxed against Jared's body, focusing on the feel of his mate, the way Jared's hair was silky soft between his fingers and the way Jared's arms wrapped around him, his big hands splayed out at the small of Jensen's back, his fingertips brushing the curve of Jensen's ass. Jensen didn't let himself relax around other people; a bad incident with a john had taught him that falling asleep next to someone you didn't know was a bad idea, but despite knowing better, Jensen was relaxed. It all faded, though, when his mate stirred, his grip on Jensen tightening from a caress to a possessive anchor as Jared lazily rolled his hips. 

"Morning," Jared mumbled against Jensen's hair. 

Jared must have felt the sudden tension that locked up every muscle in Jensen's body; it must have been obvious with the way Jensen was draped over him, their legs tangled together.

"Let me go," Jensen said as he tried to get up, Jared's hands keeping him in place. "Dammit, let me..."

"Don't you feel better now?" Jared asked. "Admit it, we needed this. We’ve needed this since that first damn night."

Jensen knew he was right, but it was a truth that Jensen didn't want to accept. He couldn't ‘need’ someone and he refused to be what Jared expected of him. Struggling, he managed to turn his face up enough to meet Jared's multicolored gaze and for a split second, he thought he saw something there that he hadn't seen before.

"I can't stay here all day," Jensen said even as he let his head fall back down on Jared's chest. 

"What better things do you have to do with your weekend?" Jared asked with amusement coloring his voice.

"I have work to do," Jensen said, thinking of all the studying he still had left.

The change in his mate was instantaneous, physical as well as mental, and Jensen was pushed off of Jared hard enough to fall to the floor with a thump. He looked up with a frown to find his mate glaring at him, the anger in his eyes beyond anything Jensen had ever seen before; their mental bond stabbed at him like white hot needles.

"Work?" Jared snarled. "The hell? You can't be fuckin' serious. You’re going to work? Spread your legs for whoever’s willing to pay for the night?"

Jensen slowly got up from the floor, straightening to his full height, the anger in his own eyes enough to rival Jared's. Without a word, he walked over to the tiny closet in the corner and rummaged for a pair of jeans, deliberately choosing the ones he had worn on his first meeting with Jared. He slipped them on, fighting to keep at bay the tremor of nerves that always ran through him when he put on the work clothes.

"Hell no," Jared spat, getting off the bed as well, unbothered by the fact that he only wore a pair of tight boxer briefs. "You're not going out like that!"

"I got things to do, Padalecki," Jensen said as he slipped into a clingy black t-shirt. 

"What, paying bills? You don't have to whore yourself out for that, I’ll pay for everything," Jared said. "No mate of mine will..."

Jensen got up in his face, close enough for the tips of their bare toes to touch.

"How is that different, Jared?" Jensen asked, exhausted fury simmering under his skin. "How is me spreading my legs for you and you paying my bills _not_ whoring myself out?"

"That's different. You belong to me! You're mine!" 

Jensen tugged his worn jacket from the hook beside the door and slid his feet into black sneakers before he turned to look at Jared, letting all his anger, embarrassment, and hurt slam into his mate across the bond. 

"It's interesting the way you see me," he said coldly. "Mates are supposed to be equals, but you’ll never see me like that, will you? You paid for my body _once_ , but you didn’t own me then and you don't own me now."

He turned and unlocked the door, sliding the security chain open before he turned back towards Jared.

"I don't want to see you one second more than I need to for the bond," Jensen said. "I want you gone by the time I get back and I don't want to see you for another week. One night a week, that's all you get with me."

He slammed the door shut behind him and walked away, ignoring the way the bond began to ache and the familiar itch working its way under his skin as he forced himself to keep on walking.

  


Jared slammed his fist down on the mattress, the springs squeaking under the sudden pressure, and felt the emotions reaching him over the bond. The hurt was almost too much to carry, punching the air from his lungs and making him sink down on the uncomfortable bed.

Time crawled and flew by at the same time; all Jared could focus on was the bond, trying to get any bearing on what Jensen was feeling, pleasure or pain, but he could only feel Jensen in the very corner of his mind, a nudging that didn't really comfort him in any way. Jared had no idea how much time had passed when he finally pulled his phone out of his discarded pants and pushed the speed-dial.

"Chad, are you still in Camarillo?"

"Of course, boss," Chad answered. "Should I come pick the two of you up?"

"Just me, Chad," Jared answered tiredly.

"What... I mean, of course. I'll be right over. But what about your car?"

"I'll leave it here," Jared said, dropping his car keys on the bed. "I'm sure he can use it."

Chad didn't comment, promising to be there in fifteen minutes and hanging up his phone; Jared used the time to get dressed, not wanting to wash the smell of Jensen from his clothes. Just when he was about to head downstairs to wait for Chad, his gaze fell on the stack of books on the bedside table; math and social science along with geography and history and, at the bottom of the stack, a notebook full of what could only be Jensen's neat handwriting. 

Walking down to the car, Jared started to get the feeling that there was more to his mate than met the eye.

~*~

"No."

Jared gritted his teeth together and stared down the tiny girl on the other side of the counter, but even drawn up to his full height, he didn’t appear to intimidate her in the slightest.

"Stop looking at me like that, it's still a no. If you want to know more about your mate, how about talking to _him_?" Julie asked as she wiped the counter with a wet rag. "And it would’ve been a good idea to do that from the start, no?"

Jared leaned against the counter, giving up his attempts to scare her; he seriously doubted anything would scare the blonde girl enough to make her give up any details about her friend. He sighed.

"I know I messed up. But I need to know. If I want to make things better, I need to know more about him, and he's not talking to me."

Julie glared at him and opened her mouth to respond with what would surely have been some pretty harsh words.

"Not that I don't understand why," Jared said quickly before she could tear him a new one. "But I need to know because all he told me was that he had to work, and I can't...I can't stand the thought of him still doing that. How can he do that?"

Julie dropped the rag and stared at Jared in open-mouthed surprise before she leaned forward and hid her face in her hands. Eventually, she looked back up at Jared.

"Are you really that stupid?" she asked on a sigh.

"I'm not... What?"

"Of course he's not working anymore," Julie said as she picked the rag back up. "How can you even _think_ he would do that? He's mated."

"But...he put on the clothes...and he said that...he..."

"And then he came here," Julie said firmly. "To study. That's pretty much all he's done since he met you. He can't work; there's no way he'd be able to touch anyone like that. He gets all tense if I try to hug him."

Jared took a few steps back and sunk down at the same table he had shared with Jensen. He wasn't surprised when Julie slid a cup of coffee over to him before returning to the counter to serve the few late evening customers who were still hanging about.

"You don't know him," Julie said awhile later, sitting down next to Jared. "You only know what he was when you paid for him, or what he is when the bond is controlling you. But you're not even trying to get to know him."

"I just want to help him," Jared said, leaning back in his seat. 

"Did it ever occur to you that he might not need your help?" Julie asked, standing again. "Now get out of here, it's closing time."

Halfway to the door, Jared turned around.

"What's he studying for?"

"I can't believe you haven't asked that before now," Julie said with a shake of her head. She closed her eyes and let out a slow breath, running a hand through her hair to swipe it away from her face, and for a moment, Jared thought she wouldn’t answer. 

"Look," she started hesitantly. "I'm only telling you this because I'm damn sure Jensen won’t...but before you two met, bonded, he was working on getting his GED. It's a big deal for him; it was gonna be his ticket out of...everything."

"Right," Jared said through clenched teeth. He walked out of the café.

~*~

Jared had a sense of déjà vu standing outside of Jensen's door, slamming his fist against it until the door rattled on its hinges. His mate was on the other side—Jared could feel irritation and anger coming across their bond—and he was just about to shout when he felt his mate's presence approach and the door opened.

"It hasn't been a week yet, Padalecki," Jensen said coldly.

"Were you ever planning to tell me the _reason_ you're studying?" Jared asked. Despite how much he wanted to touch his mate, he forced himself to stay where he was.

Jensen's gaze hardened even further, his green eyes blazing and an angry flush rising in his neck. "I don't see how that’s any of your business," he answered stiffly.

"You're my mate," Jared said. "Of course it's my business. Haven't you realized that..."

"I'm taking the GED, Jared," Jensen interrupted. "And that's not something your money can buy me."

With those words, he threw something at Jared—a set of keys Jared knew all too well; he wasn't really surprised that Jensen didn't want them. His mate probably hadn't even touched the car since Jared had left him the keys initially. He decided not to say anything about it, though, not in the face of Jensen’s hard gaze, all his walls clearly raised. Jared glared at him, trying to push his anger down even though he knew his mate could feel it; their emotions shot back and forth across the bond until Jared couldn't say where his ended and Jensen's began.

"Mates don't lie to each other," Jared said.

"It's not lying if you never bothered to fucking ask," Jensen snapped. He slammed the door shut in Jared's face. "And I don't want to see you again until the weekend," he shouted as an afterthought. 

Jared stood frozen for too long until he suddenly realized that if he could feel Jensen's irritation from outside the apartment, then his mate could feel him from inside it, and Jared was not the type to stand in a deserted hallway staring at a locked door. With one last glance at his mate's place, he turned around and walked away, trying to silence the nagging voice deep inside that told him he had just made a really stupid mistake.

~*~

"When will the bond be fully formed?" Jared asked, running a hand through his messed up hair.

"Jared," Dr. McNeill said with a soft sigh. "I'm not sure; you two keep staying apart for such long periods, you're not giving the bond time to lock into place."

Jared groaned and slumped down in his seat, the hum of traffic the only sound in the car; he looked out at the passing scenery and the other cars on the road. 

"How bad is it, that we don't meet all the time?" he asked. "I'm heading to him now, but I haven't seen him since Sunday."

He listened to the doctor moving around, the soft rustling of pages in the background. 

"You know the bond can't be broken," Dr. McNeill said with a slight strain in her voice. "People seldom meet their soul mates, though, so the knowledge about how it works is limited. From what I’ve found in my research, your bond can stay like it is now, never fully completed, but you run the risk of hurting yourselves even when you're together."

"I don't want to hurt him," Jared said without thinking twice about it.

"Of course you don't, he's your mate," she said like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"He doesn't want to be," Jared said quietly. "He's fighting me every step of the way, and I'm _trying_ here. I never wanted a damn mate, but I've given him everything!"

The silence dragged out between them; Jared was sure the doctor wanted to say something she wasn’t. 

"Talk to me," Jared said. "You know who I am, what I do for a living. I promise, I’m sure I’ve heard worse."

She laughed and he heard her office chair squeak.

"In that case, Mr. Padalecki..."

"Jared."

"Fine, Jared. You're an idiot."

Jared huffed out a laugh and adjusted the Bluetooth device in his ear; this was a discussion he didn't want to miss a second of.

"You sure don't sugarcoat things, Dr. McNeill," he said. 

"Leslie," she retorted. "If we're on first name basis and all. But honestly, you say you've 'given him everything'? Jared, mating is about...sharing. He's not your property."

Jared shifted, his back straightening as he felt suddenly defensive, his hands clenching around the wheel.

"I don't think he is," Jared protested. "But I have money, and he doesn't, so I'm helping him."

"Did he ask you to?" Leslie asked.

"Well...no," Jared said, fidgeting a little.

"Legally, everything that’s yours is his; that’s how mating works, even though I have a feeling you two haven't done all the paperwork yet. I guess you want me to examine you before that happens?"

"Exactly, I’ve only given him what’s already his," Jared said. "He's just being...stubborn."

"No," Leslie said softly. "He's just being proud. And I think you should be too. You know how few people actually manage to work themselves off the street? From what you've told me, your mate must be a very strong person. Don't take that away from him."

  


Jensen's eyes felt gritty from a lack of sleep, all the information he’d frantically reviewed at the last second the day before still swirling around in his mind. He wasn't sure why he'd been unable to get a good night’s sleep; he had been exhausted when he’d gone to bed, but no matter what he’d tried, sleep had avoiding him and he’d spent the better part of the night staring up at his ceiling and wondering how his narrow wreck of a bed could suddenly feel so big.

Stumbling to his feet, he wriggled out of his boxer shorts, throwing them into the hamper in the corner and working his way over to the small shower, climbing in and letting the lukewarm water do its best to help him wake him up for his second and final day of GED testing. 

"Almost done," he mumbled, spitting out the water that ran into his mouth. 

He stubbornly ignored the small voice in the back of his mind asking him what he would do next; that was a line of thought he was far from ready to consider. When he got out of the shower to rub a threadbare towel over his wet skin, he shivered, knowing it had little to do with the temperature of the room. 

Still slightly damp, he pulled on fresh clothes, even going so far as to pull on his best jeans and his newest t-shirt, feeling somewhat better when he looked at himself in the cracked bathroom mirror. A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts, but he didn't even need to open the door to know who was on the other side; he was surprised he hadn't felt the man earlier. 

"I really don't have time right now," Jensen said as he grabbed his jacket from its hook, pushing past Jared on his way out.

"Jensen, please," Jared said, but Jensen continued to walk down the hallway without answering. "Hey, I just want to..."

"No," Jensen said. "Not now. I need go or I'll be late. I can't do this right now, Jared, I just can't."

He didn't tell his mate how much he really wanted to hear whatever Jared had to say, or how much he wanted to close the distance between them and let himself be wrapped in Jared's arms to let alleviate some of the stress of the test he was about to take. 

"We can drive you," Jared offered. "I promise I'm not trying to stop you from taking the test. I wouldn't do that. Just...let me make it easier for you? Please?"

Jensen turned around at the tone of Jared's voice as much as the sincerity that he felt across their fragile bond. 

"Okay," he said quietly, nodding. "Fine, I'll go with you. But this test is important... If you do anything to mess it up..."

"I won’t," Jared said, holding up his hands in a supplicating gesture. 

The small voice continued nagging in the back of Jensen’s mind, asking him what he was doing, but Jensen forced it down; his nerves were frayed to pieces and if Jared could offer any kind of comfort, Jensen was going to grab it. Silence stretched out between them as they walked down the stairs to the car outside. Jensen eyed the limousine, memories of their first night together flowing through his mind; if his mate’s slight flush and sharp inhalation were anything to go by, Jared knew where Jensen's thoughts had strayed to.

"Do you know where the school is?" Jensen asked when he climbed into the spacious car.

"Yeah," Jared said, closing the door behind them. "We're ready, Chad."

A low rumbling traveled from the car up through Jensen's body as he got comfortable only to find a Styrofoam cup of coffee and a brown bag that smelled like its contents were fresh from an oven.

"Did you...get me breakfast?" Jensen asked, stunned.

"Yeah; I figured you weren’t gonna take the time to eat, and...well..." Jared shrugged.

Something between them had changed since their last meeting, but Jensen had no idea what, and no idea how to read this new version of Jared. Still, nothing, not even his confusing mate, could keep him from reaching for the coffee and moaning when the first drops of bitter brew hit his tongue. 

"You're okay with me taking this test?" Jensen asked, because it seemed important. 

"More than," Jared said as he reached into the bag to take out a bagel and hold it up. "I know you probably don’t believe me right now, but...I'm proud of you." 

Jensen couldn't do more than nod and they didn’t speak for the remaining few minutes it took to get to the school. Jensen looked out at the building, some of the tension seeping back under his skin when he handed the newly emptied cup over to Jared but didn't reach for the door. 

"You can do this," Jared said quietly. "And when you’re done...we can talk about what happens next. Is that okay with you?"

Despite the tenderness of the words, Jensen tensed and he didn't turn around to meet Jared's gaze; instead, he reached out and pushed the car door open, stepping into crisp air outside, the temperature still low despite the sun shining down on them. 

"Will you be around when I'm done?" he asked, running a hand through his hair and shivering. 

"Yes," Jared said immediately; Jensen relaxed at his fervency and turned around to face him. Jared’s long legs were propped out of the idling car as the engine purred.

"Okay," Jensen said. "We'll talk. Later."

It wasn't until he was halfway up the steps that he realized he hadn't thanked Jared; he almost turned around to do so but only managed an awkward wave when he realized that Jared was still watching him.

~*~

The essay section went a long way to making Jensen miss problems he could solve with his calculator. He knew he was on a time limit, but he couldn’t focus, his mind spinning with the question he was sure had been put on the test just to screw him up.

  
_Today, workplaces and neighborhoods are populated by people of diverse backgrounds. It is important for people who are very different to find ways to get along with each other._  


  
_Write an essay explaining how people of diverse backgrounds can get along better._  


He couldn’t think of anything but whatever was between him and Jared, every answer coming to mind somehow too personal to put down on paper for some anonymous official to grade.

He missed the weird calm he felt around Jared; without meaning to, he nudged against their fragile bond, trying to somehow feel his mate in an attempt to ground himself. What he hadn't expected was the wave of calm that came back to him, wrapping around him until his heartbeat had calmed down and his breathing was low and even. Serenity was not something he had expected, not with Jared off doing...whatever it was he was doing while Jensen finished his test, but Jensen had worked too hard preparing to ignore the lifeline that had been tossed to him just when he needed it most, no matter how bizarre it was. 

Jensen latched onto the bond, clinging to the emotions coming across it; when he put his pen to the paper, he completely bypassed the recommended planning stage as an essay spilled out across the page.

Looking up at the wall clock, he saw that his time was about to run out. He had written twice the amount he had expected to manage. He bit at the end of his pen, eyeing the last paragraph critically and trying to find the right words to wrap the essay up neatly. 

Around him, the other students were writing aggressively; every now and then, he heard a nervous cough or the tapping of nails against a desk. Jensen suddenly realized something he hadn't expected: He felt good about what he had written. He had found the right words, not necessarily for the person who would be grading him but definitely for himself, putting his mind at ease. 

Somewhere out there was Jared, and even though a big part of him wasn't ready to deal, Jensen knew it was time. He couldn't stay frozen in place like he had been, couldn't fight what it wasn't possible to. Taking a deep breath, he began writing again.

  
Ultimately, the key is not the differences between us. It is not our genealogies, or our money, or what cars we drive. We must focus on the things that bring us together and put us on a level playing field: our shared interests and values. In this sameness, we are left only with what ties us together and makes us equals. We cannot find perfection in our lives, but we can still make great friends and important connections. Happiness is wherever you find it, deserved all the more so if it requires a little extra effort. 

Jensen put his pen down and looked at the words he had written, staring at them until time was up. All he could do now was walk out of the room with his fingers crossed, hoping that the results would be good. Lost in his own little world, he left the building; looking up and blinking at the bright sunlight, it took a minute for his eyes to adjust, but when they did, he felt like his heart stopped and fell down to his feet.

The car was waiting in the exact same spot it had been when Jensen had gone in, the open passenger door revealing Jared in there talking to Chad. Biting down on his lower lip, Jensen walked towards the to men.

Emotions crashed into him before he was halfway there and Jared left the car, ignoring his driver as he walked towards Jensen with long, sure strides.

"Jensen," Jared said, stopping right in front of him. "How did it go? I could... You were so nervous..."

"How did you know I was..." It suddenly clicked into place, the reason he had felt Jared’s comfort so easily. "You stayed."

His mate smiled and Jensen felt another wave of reassurance warming him, the tender feeling working its way under his skin and enhanced when Jared reached out to put his hand on Jensen's bare arm. Logically, Jensen knew that skin-on-skin contact made everything stronger, but he hadn't really felt it before so much as struggled against it every step of the way. Even so, he felt a change in it from their first time together; the desperate roughness was gone, Jared’s touch now sensitive, maybe even caring.

"I stayed," Jared confirmed. "I don't know much about these tests, but...I think this is what mates should do for each other. And, Jensen, I'm very proud of you for doing this."

People were seldom proud of him, Julie being the exception; Jared’s words made something inside Jensen shatter to pieces, melting away completely at Jared’s naked sincerity. 

"I haven't passed yet," Jensen said with a shrug, his gaze falling down to the tips of Jared’s shoes touching his. His own sneakers were so worn that they were almost falling apart whereas Jared's shoes were perfect, glossy black leather, but for the first time, the difference didn’t hurt him to see. 

"You will," Jared said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Jensen was aware that he was loitering outside the building where the test had been administered and that departing students, as well as Chad, were within hearing distance, but he didn't care; he needed some answers before he made the final leap that his whole being was urging him to. 

"What made you change your mind about me?" he asked. "When did I become someone for you to be proud of instead of just..."

He let the words hang in the air between them; Jared knew what he meant. Pushing big hands through his hair, Jared looked at Jensen for a moment before he took a step back and breathed a heavy sigh. 

"It wasn't a choice," Jared said, looking away. "It was just... Jen, you weren't what I expected. I mean, you're...or at least you were, you were a hooker."

Jensen flinched and took a step back; Jared immediately raised his hands, palms facing out.

"No wait, I didn't mean like that," he said. "Dammit, I'm getting this all wrong."

The tension rolling off his mate in waves made Jensen fidget and forget all about the test, his focus completely dedicated to whatever it was that Jared was trying to get out.

"The first time we met, I didn’t meet you," Jared said, bouncing anxiously on his toes. "I met the guy I was paying for, I met the hooker version of you. And he was amazing, he really was. But he wasn't _you._ "

With a nod, Jensen urged him to go on, his anger and irritation shifting to curiosity as his mate began pacing. 

"I'm not sure I've ever met you, like, really," Jared said as he rolled his shoulders. "You're holding back around me, and I get it, I do. I didn't like it at the start because I hate people hiding stuff from me...and you...you're my _mate_. You shouldn't hide stuff from me!"

"I'm your mate," Jensen said with a nod. "I'm not your...property."

"I know!" Jared said, reaching his hand out to Jensen. "It was never what I wanted."

Jensen scoffed at that, but he wasn't prepared for the sting when Jared looked away.

"Dammit." Jared sighed. "I just wanted a mate I could be proud of. You're gorgeous and I wanted people to see my mate and envy me."

"Oh, yeah," Jensen said bitterly. "Arm candy is so much better."

"Can you listen to me and not just jump to conclusions?" Jared said angrily, backing Jensen up against the limousine. "That's not how I look at you, that's not what I want. I meant what I said; I'm proud of you. I was so busy imagining what you _could_ be that I didn't stop to see what you _are_."

Warmth seeped through Jensen’s clothes where Jared was crowded up against him and the urge to push closer almost overrode his need for answers, but he sensed that Jared still had things to say. 

"And what am I?" Jensen dared. "What am I to you, Jared?"

"My mate," Jared answered with fierce conviction.

Even though he knew the words were true, Jensen was about to protest when Jared kept on talking.

"And you're strong, Jen," he said. "So damn strong and I didn't even notice. I just thought you were...stupidly stubborn about not wanting me to help you."

"I don't need help," Jensen said reflexively. 

"But I want to help you," Jared said, cradling Jensen's cheek. "You're my mate and I want you to have everything you deserve. Everything _you_ want, not everything I want for you."

Closing his eyes, Jensen drew in a deep breath and leaned back against the solid car door, trying to ground himself in any way possible. He couldn't close off the bond and Jared seemed to be using that to his advantage, pushing his emotions into Jensen as Jensen tried to push them away; he was on the verge of asking the other man to stop when he realized how good it felt, the mental touch soothing the rough edges of his mind.

"What do you want to change?" Jensen asked, opening his eyes. "I'm not just gonna do whatever you say."

"I want you to move in with me," Jared said without hesitation.

"Why is that so important for you?" Jensen said. "Can't we... Can’t we make the distance work?"

"No!" Jared snapped. "It's not an option."

Anger rose inside Jensen and he shoved it at Jared, causing the other man to stumble back.

"It's not an option 'cause it would _hurt_ you," Jared said, rubbing his temples.

Whatever Jensen had expected, it wasn't that. It wasn't the pleading in Jared's voice or the way his words stripped them both bare; Jensen felt like he was teetering on the edge of something unknown, something very scary. 

"Why would it hurt me?" Jensen asked. "And why does it matter?"

"An incomplete bond will hurt you. It’ll hurt the both of us," Jared explained. "I talked to a doctor about it, and if we don't let the bond settle soon, it never will. And that would hurt us, forever."

Jensen zeroed in on the unexpected part of Jared’s response. 

"You saw a doctor? About us?" Jensen asked. "Why?"

"Because I want this to work; I want us to be mates," Jared said, stepping back in. "I want to get to know you. Be with you."

  


His mate’s feelings were all over the place. Jared tried to catch hold of something, anything that would show him where Jensen’s mind was at, but Jensen was swaying between wanting to push Jared away and something that Jared couldn't put his finger on.

"Move in with me," Jared asked again. "You can have your own room, do whatever you want. I just want you close to me."

"I'm not sure I'll be okay with everything the way you want it," Jensen said, straightening his posture. "And I’ll never be your trophy. I want to be your equal. If I get my GED, I might actually manage to make something of myself. I want to _be_ someone, not just your mate."

Hope swelled up inside Jared; he could feel all the hesitation still lingering between them, but for the first time, Jensen wasn't saying no, wasn't shutting down and trying to keep Jared away. Looking at the other man, Jared saw everything he had missed since their first meeting; for the first time, he didn’t see the hooker he had paid for, used and left bruised and sore; he saw _Jensen_.

"You're already more than my mate," Jared said honestly. "And whatever you want to do in the future, I'll support you."

Jensen nodded, his eyes focused on something behind Jared, the school building or anything else. 

"Fine," Jensen said.

"What’s fine?" Jared asked. "Wait, you mean...fine, you'll move in with me?"

"Yes," Jensen said. Even though he was obviously forcing the word out, there was a small smile on his lips. "I'll move in with you."

Jared felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders; he opened his mouth to speak, but Jensen held up his hand, stemming the flow. 

"In my own room," he added.

"I'm okay with that," Jared agreed at once, finally seeing the light at the end of the emotional tunnel the two of them had been going through.

Jensen nodded and Jared saw, felt the man gathering himself to say something else, but instead, Jensen closed the distance between them, stepping into Jared's personal space, tangling his fingers with Jared's, the small touch meaning more than any between them ever had before. 

~*~

  
***[Masterpost](http://aythia.livejournal.com/179669.html) ***  
* [Part Three](http://aythia.livejournal.com/180285.html) *

  


Jared smiled when he saw an empty bag from the bookstore lying on the kitchen counter. If Jensen kept on buying books at the rate he had been over the last few months, they would run out of shelf space in Jared’s home office as well as the living room. Jensen had filled the ones in his own bedroom within the first month after Jared had finally talked him into using _their_ money; it was a step in the right direction, even though his mate insisted on buying secondhand books.

Walking through the penthouse towards his mate's room, Jared heard the beat and felt the vibrations of loud music, feeling it through Jensen's senses as well when he got closer to him. After a year, Jensen still had his own room, the door always firmly closed; Jared wondered if they would ever be a real mated couple. Their bond almost fully formed, enough that they never had to worry about it causing them pain as long as they spent some time together daily; loads of tests with Leslie had confirmed that and made Jensen glare at Jared for a solid week.

"Jensen?" Jared called out, knocking on the door and carefully nudging at the edges of his mate's mind.

The door was flung open in an instant to reveal Jensen’s slightly flushed face, guilt sparking across their bond. Jared was about to ask about it when Jensen took a step back, letting Jared inside; the reason for the guilt became pretty clear when Jared saw the room. Instead of the cream-colored walls, all could see was shelves and shelves of books. The hardwood floor wasn't even visible under sheets of bubble wrap and manuals for putting the shelves together. Jensen fumbled with the stereo remote for a second and the ensuing silence was almost deafening.

"Have you been shopping at IKEA?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, forcing himself to stay calm. 

His mate rubbed at the back of his neck, his gaze tracking the mess that had once been his bedroom.

"Look, you said it was my room," Jensen said defensively. "You said I could do whatever I wanted with it."

"You wanted your own personal library?" Jared asked, smiling and touching one of the new shelves. "You know I would've helped if you’d asked me, right? But seriously, IKEA? You do realize _I have money;_ you can buy _new_ books. And better furniture."

"I know," Jensen said with a shrug. "But I don't feel right about spending... Look, IKEA works for me, can we leave it at that? Besides, I wanted to do this myself; it's sort of a celebration." 

He dropped to his knees, returning to work on the last shelf. Ignoring his perfectly pressed suit, Jared slid down next to him and reached for the manual, trying to figure out which plug would go where even though most of his attention was focused on Jensen beside him. It was no surprise that the room was rather dusty; his mate must have been working the entire day to get all the shelves up while Jared had been at work. 

"What's the occasion?" Jared asking carefully, trying to figure out what reason his mate could have for celebrating.

Jensen didn't look at him, fastening the backside of the shelf with slightly clumsy fingers and obviously trying to keep his thoughts to himself. Jared ignored the wound that caused.

"Well, I got a job," Jensen said so quietly that Jared barely heard it. "So I'll actually be able to contribute and not just be leeching off you."

"Jen, I never thought that..." Jared started to protest, reaching out to wrap his long fingers around Jensen's wrist.

"I know," Jensen said quickly. "But it felt like that, to me."

Jared nodded, ignoring the urge to have this argument again as Jensen’s words clicked into place.

"You've got a job?" he asked proudly. 

Jensen smiled a slow smile that transformed him into someone almost inhumanly beautiful. He reached out and snagged one of the empty book bags from the floor, thrusting it into Jared's hands.

"I start here on Monday," he said, beaming. "Apparently they noticed me hanging around all the time, and then they put up a ‘help wanted’ sign, so I asked about it, and...I got it."

"Baby, that's amazing!" Jared exclaimed, ignoring his mate's flinch at the moniker. 

"It's nothing much," Jensen said with a shrug. "But it means I’ll have my own job with my own money. It means we can..."

He drifted off into silence and Jared let his mate be for a few moments, watching while Jensen put the last touches on the final shelf before standing up. Jared stood as well and together, they lifted it into place, completing the circuit of floor-to-ceiling shelving; Jensen proudly surveyed the room and Jared tried not to think about how long it would take them to clean up enough for Jensen to be able to sleep there... A deep frown cut into his forehead when he looked around.

"Where's the bed?" he asked perplexedly, realizing for the first time that the only things in the room were bookshelves and a worn old leather armchair int the corner.

"I thought that..." Jensen started, pausing to take a deep breath and clear his throat. "Now that I work, and I can start contributing, maybe we can be equals?"

"We are," Jared answered at once, causing Jensen to smile.

"But this is the first time I feel like it," Jensen confessed. "What I'm trying to say is I think we can be mates, for real. And I was hoping I could move into your bedroom."

Jared was kissing him immediately, Jensen arching up into the touch for a few blissful minutes before he took a step back. 

"Yes," Jared said, the brilliance of his own smile making their bond shimmer. "Of course you can move into the master bedroom, of course we're equals."

His feelings were hard to explain; it was like the rubber band of their bond had stretched out, twined around them, and snapped back into place, something solid between them. Jared was surprised he couldn't see the change in the air. Where Jensen's emotions had always been a vague presence in the back of his mind, they were suddenly tangled together with his own, impossible to say where one ended and the other began.

Jensen's eyes widened, his jaw slack as he stared at Jared; Jared was pretty sure that he looked just as surprised. 

"Did the bond just...?"

"Wow..."

Part of Jared wanted to throw his mate on the closest bed and taste and touch every inch of his freckled skin, but another part wanted something else even more; he pulled Jensen close with an arm around his shoulder.

"Thai food while we watch shit explode on the widescreen?" he asked, careful to not make a big deal of what had just happened between them. 

Jensen's fingers tangled with his in a casual way that was all new for the both of them, and they left the bedroom-cum-library to order takeout before they settled down on the big couch, their limbs tangled together. Jared was amazed by how, after a year of desperate mating sessions, something so simple could feel all shiny and new.

A content sound left Jensen as he shifted around, moving until Jared was sitting between his spread legs, his back against Jensen's chest. 

"This feels good," Jensen said quietly. He pressed ‘play’ on the remote.

Jared didn't think it felt good so much as perfect, and through the link between their minds, he could feel that Jensen agreed.

He was sure they still had miles to go, issues to work out and fights to have, but sitting with his mate pressed close to him, his fingers carding through his hair, he was just as sure that they would make it through and come out on the other side, together.

__**~The End~**


End file.
